Page 61 of Cream and Punishment
Mindhis germs? Puh-lease. I wantedallhis germs, preferably given mouth-to-mouth. This was realistically the closest I’d get to that.
“Oh, uh” —I cleared my throat— “I don’t mind. I’m more worried about infecting you withmygerms.”
His eyes darted to my mouth so fast I wasn’t sure it really happened. “I don’t mind, either.”
And then he held out his fork with somemofongoon it, like he was going to feed me.Holy Crackerjack and pumpkin pie, was I dreaming? Whether I was or not, I wasn’t going to let this chance go by. Maybe it made me a bad person but cut a girl some slack.
Before he could change his mind, I swooped in like a pelican and practically inhaled themofongo. You know,gracefully. It was about as romantic as unknotting shoelaces, but I’d take what I could get. Even if that meant pretending that this was a date after all and themofongowas actually a chocolate-covered strawberry or something.
Holy jalapeño poppers, I needed to get out more.
He blinked at me before erupting in laughter. Not the reaction a girl wanted from the guy she was pretending she was on a date with, that was for sure. Talk about a humbling experience. “I mean, I expected you tograbthe fork, but that works, too.”
I chewed themofongoslowly, allowing time for my soul to leave my body and journey across the world far, far away from Max. Themofongowas… different, but not bad. I wasn’t crazy about the texture, but the flavor was pleasant. “It’s all part of my method.”
What the actual cheese balls didthatmean?
Apparently my mouth decided I wasn’t suffering enough, though, because it continued speaking. “It’s the best way to try new foods. Helps me get into the right frame of mind, like putting myself in your shoes, but instead I’m putting myself on your fork.”
Oh. My. Hot dog. Stop. Talking.
Was it too late to fake a bathroom break?
On second thought, I’d already made it through my glass of water, so I wouldn’t have to fake it after all. A small win for tiny bladder-havers worldwide.
“It’s good, though.” I slid out of the booth. “I’m gonna make like a pod and pee. I’ll be back after I remember how to socialize.”
I scurried to the restrooms before he could get a word in edgewise, fueled by my bursting bladder and overflowing humiliation.
twenty-one
Iwastemptedtostay in there forever. Claim the two-stall restroom as my new cave, gorge myself on salmon, and hibernate like a bear for the rest of eternity. Or until Max left. Whichever happened first.
The Powers That Be had another plan in mind, since Cendy appeared behind me as I splashed water over my face only minutes after I’d left the table.
I yelped in surprise, my hand flying to my chest to keep my heart from slingshotting itself out of Earth’s atmosphere. Between her and Max, I’d never make it to my thirtieth birthday alive.
“Crumb cakes, Cendy, you scared me,” I chided, a smile creeping at the corners of my mouth at the ridiculous turn the evening had taken.
Images of an ambulance showing up and wheeling me out on a stretcher after Cendy sent me into cardiac arrest came to mind. Honestly, that would still be less embarrassing than facing Max again after my pelican audition.
“Sorry,” she apologized with a sympathetic grimace. “I wasn’t sure how else to talk to you before you left.”
“You speak English,” I mumbled dumbly. No wonder she’d looked confused when I tried Italian on them—she’d understood everything else perfectly fine. “Why did Max tell me you don’t speak English?”
She chuckled, her voice throaty and richly accented. “Because as far as he knows, I don’t. His Spanish grammar is horrible. He needs all the practice he can get.”
I snorted, unsure how to feel about being privy to this secret. The list of Max’s shortcomings just grew a little longer. Unfortunately, my affection for him only grew stronger.
“You’re the neighbor who made the cupcakes, right?” Cendy asked, casting a cautious look toward the two empty stalls.
I furrowed my brow. “Yeah. At least, I assume so? How do you know about those?”
“Max brought some to share with us.” She rubbed her swollen abdomen. “My cravings have been really bad. The cupcakes helped, but now they’re my new craving.”
“Oh.” I shook away my surprise.Of courseMax shared the cupcakes. The man probably hid angel wings under his shirts.
“Could I order some?” Cendy asked, her dark eyes hopeful and bright. “I looked at all the bakeries in town and none of them had what I wanted.”
