Page 38 of Cream and Punishment
And he had every right to, even if he didn’t actually feel that way.
He nodded thoughtfully, drumming his fingers on his thigh. “I’ll admit I wasn’t in the best state emotionally at the time, but I was never mad at you. I was in shock and humiliated and—Ithought—heartbroken. I didn’t want to see or talk to anyone at the time, especially not someone who was just trying to do her job.”
“So I didn’t completely wreck your chance at happiness?”
He chuckled and shifted until he met my eyes. “Definitely not. I think I’m happier now than I ever was with Vicky. More…whole, I guess.”
The weight of hundreds of days of regret and guilt and shame slid off my shoulders. The other shoe had finally dropped, but instead of crushing me like I’d expected, it had crushed the shackles I’d locked myself in. I was a bird whose cage had just been opened, a gazelle who’d escaped the lion’s clutches after the longest hunt in existence. I could breathe.
Finally.
Fully.
If it weren’t so dark out, I’d almost be convinced the birds were singing and unicorns were flying through the sky sprinkling magic happy dust. Max didn’t hate me. He didn’t blame me. Better than that, even—he’d apparentlyneverhated or blamed me.
I’d never been so relieved to be wrong.
“And you don’t hate me now, even after getting you stuck in the elevator from Hell?” I asked, barely restraining my grin.
“ElevatorfromHell, or the elevatortoHell?” He laughed, the espresso-like depths of his eyes twinkling. “Either way, the answer is no. I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit.”
“Even though you couldn’t stand looking at me a week ago?”
“Oh.” He rubbed the back of his neck, once again looking away. “Sorry about that. That was… I was a little preoccupied with some…stuff…and tried to avoid it. Internal stuff. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
That was incredibly vague, but okay. Considering how often I worried about things, it only seemed fair that he could do the same. Even if it meant avoiding looking at me for some reason.
I huffed a laugh of pure relief, like I’d seen the sun for the first time in years. My grin broke free, so wide and unrestrained that my cheeks hurt. I didn’t care.
We sat there, shoulder to shoulder, smiling at each other like goofs for a good ten seconds.
“Wow!” I sucked in a full breath, relishing the feeling to the tips of my lungs. “I can’t even tell you how good this news feels.”
His smile faltered, and he fidgeted with his fingers in his lap. “Like you’re no longer drowning?”
I swallowed hard. He remembered our conversation from this morning. It felt like ages ago by now, and with the way things had changed for me since then, it may as well be.
“Yeah,” I whispered, offering a small smile. “Turns out I’ve been swimming in the shallow end the whole time.”
He bumped my shoulder again. “Hey, people drown in shallow water all the time. It isn’t about how deep the pool is, but how much gets in your lungs.”
I hummed thoughtfully. It made sense, in a way. Some people could tread water for hours, while some needed the safety of the shallows. And then there was me, who felt like I’d been trying to swim with one arm tied behind my back for a long time now.
I took the gloves off and fanned myself with my hands, pushing cooler air against my cheeks. The donkey suit was quickly getting uncomfortably warm. As opposed to all-around uncomfortable, which it had already mastered. “Does this mean we can be friends now?”
“And here I thought we were already friends,” he teased. “When you weren’t avoiding me like the plague, that is.”
I blushed, which did nothing to help cool me down. “Sorry. I really thought you were going to sneak snakes into my vents or barbecue my favorite pair of socks or something.”
He scratched his chin, resembling the famous thinker statue. “Both good options.”
“Hey, don’t get any ideas now, okay? We’ve declared a truce. No takesies backsies.”
I didn’t think my heart could handle the stress if he did a one-eighty. Especially now that it had tasted freedom.
I nudged the donkey head safely away from my feet and hesitantly extended my hands. “I hate to ask this, but could you help me stand up and get this off? I’m melting, and I’d rather the paramedics not find me in a fur suit if I pass out from heatstroke.”
“Fair enough.” He laughed as he gracefully eased himself to his feet. “And here I thought the suit was growing on you. You seemed pretty comfortable on the way back here.”
