Page 30 of Love Always
“You’re right.I don’t want to hurt her.That’s the last thing I want to do.”
“So figure out what’s going on with you and Maggie before you mess with her head again.”
“Can you at least tell her I said hi?”he asked, sheepishly.
“I can do that.I’ll call you tomorrow kay?”
“Okay.Bye.”
“Bye.”
When they hung up and Steff returned to the party, she didn’t say anything about their phone call.She didn’t mention her talk with Lee until Sunday when we were hanging out alone in our bedroom.She went through the whole conversation with me: that she told Lee he shouldn’t call or page me unless he has broken up with his girlfriend for good, that she could see how much it hurt me when he stopped calling on a regular basis and that he agreed with it all because he didn’t want to hurt me.
“Thanks, Steff.”I said, embracing her with a big bear hug.
“Anytime!”she said playing with my hair.
“Hey Steff?”I asked.“How do you get over your first love?”
“That’s a hard call.”She stopped talking and started braiding my hair while she thought about how to answer my loaded question.“For starters, I think we need to get you a new guy to pine over.”She tied my braid off with an elastic and leaned in like she was getting ready to tell me a secret.“I was actually just talking to someone on IM and he wants to meet for a movie tomorrow night.Do you want to see if he has a friend, and you can come along, kind of like a double date?”she asked excitedly.
“You wouldn’t mind your little cousin coming along on a date?”I asked to make sure she really wanted me there.
She laughs.“No way.Besides, if he turns out to be a crazy stalker, I won’t be alone.”
“Okay cool, sounds like a plan then!”
* * *
Justin ended up not being Steff’s type at all and before he walked her to the car, he asked if it would be okay with her if he got to know me a bit more.Steff didn’t think it was a good idea at first – Justin was twenty and I’m only sixteen – she reminded him how old I was, and he wasn’t deterred.I was already sitting in the car and couldn’t hear their conversation but noticed she was glancing over at me through the window and giving him a wary look.After a little back and forth, she gave him a warning to play nice and told him this could end up being a disaster for everyone involved.He agreed and we talked over Instant Messenger every day that next week.
On Saturday, Steff and I went on a second double date with Justin and his friend, Derek.Derek was a laughable date, but Steff had a good enough time that night and then decided to swear off guys for a while due to her bad luck.
On the other hand, I had started to get pretty close with Justin and things were moving along at a fast pace.I started testing the waters with the bad girl vibe and snuck out passed curfew to go driving around in Justin’s dark green low-rider while Steff covered for me at home.
We would go to the movies or back to his house to play pool usually.He even introduced me to his parents and his sister one night which shocked me because I kind of thought he was embarrassed to be with me since I was so much younger than him.When we were alone, playing pool in his basement, I asked him if he cared how old I was and he shook his head, “You don’t act like you’re sixteen, Ellie, that’s why I’m drawn to you so much.”
* * *
Before he brought me home on a chilly January night, Justin took me to his house, and we sat out on the swing in his backyard.It’s been three months, and I began to notice that we never do anything with his friends; it’s always just the two of us.“Are you embarrassed of me?”I asked, looking over at him.Instead of responding to my question, he asked if I’d ever had an older boyfriend before.
“No.I’ve had some pretty crazy relationships the last couple years but no one older like you.”I laughed a little.
“What was so crazy about them?”
“I guess they weren’tsupercrazy, but one told me he carved my name on his chest and the other was a long-distance thing.That was hard; I’m kind of still getting over him.”I admitted.
He looked over at me, smiled and said, “Well I’m not that crazy.I won’t be carving your name on me any time soon.But, no, I’m not embarrassed of you.It’s actually the opposite, I feel really attached to you already.”he trailed off and looked out into the distance.“I might be moving away for school, and I don’t want to be like your other boyfriend, with the long-distance.”
“When are you leaving?”
“Probably in March, and when I move, I will probably be gone for a couple years.That’s still far away though.”
“Yeah.”I agreed and kicked us into a bigger swing with my feet.
“We can still hang out for now.And we aren’t there yet so we don’t have to think about it right now.But I wanted to let you know.”
“Thanks for telling me.”I looked over at him and could see he was wincing at the thought of that confession pushing me away.
