Page 45 of A Chance in a Million
‘Dino, get off her.’ She heard David’s voice as if from inside cotton wool.
‘He’s fine, David. Let him be.’ She wrapped her free arm around his waist and clung there for quite some time, enjoying the feel of him and the silent, peaceful surroundings. She could hear his heart beating against her cheek and it gradually began to slow just as hers did. Finally she straightened up and found herself looking at him from close range. Even through the mass of hair she could see a gentle smile on his face and she released her hold on him, reached up, and kissed the only part of him she could see – his lips. It was only a fleeting touch but she knew she would remember it for the rest of her life.
‘Thanks for looking after me.’
‘Thankyou, Jane. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. I don’t know how to thank you enough. He’s my best buddy. It would have been awful if anything had happened to him.’
She jumped at the opportunity. ‘If you really want to thank me, all I want is to hear what happened to make you leave the army, but only if you’re ready, of course.’
His eyes blinked several times, but then there was the slightest hint of a resigned nod of the head.
‘I owe you that and a whole lot more.’
She waited for him to speak, wondering what he was about to reveal.
‘You know I was in the SAS.’ Not waiting for her response, he continued. ‘It was the very last op I did. It was only a couple of months before the end of my term and it was as a result of what happened that I decided not to reenlist. I knew I had to get out and give up on the idea of a career in the army.’
He was still sitting on the tree trunk beside her, but his eyes were staring out over the trees on the far side of the road. He was speaking to her but he could have been addressing the dog, the sky or the Land Rover. His tone was deadpan, emotionless.
‘It was in Afghanistan. I can’t tell you where, but it doesn’t matter. We were part of a mixed team of special forces from three different countries. The commander was a big guy – I can’t tell you his name or even his nationality – and he was one of those larger-than-life characters that war throws up from time to time. We moved in at night on foot over the mountains. It was a long, hard climb and an even hairier descent next morning. The plan was to attack a Taliban stronghold, a major collecting point for drugs to go out and for arms to come into the country. The word was that they had a big shipment about to be collected and it was our mission to destroy it and the gang handling it.’
There was a long pause and she was just about to prompt him when he started again, his voice still low and expressionless.
‘The moment we started the attack, suddenly all hell was let loose. We found out later that the enemy had been tipped off in advance and we’d walked into an ambush. A heavy machine gun on a rooftop cut through our guys and the man beside me was killed outright. After a firefight lasting well over an hour we pulled back. Of the twenty-four men in the group, three were dead and five seriously wounded. We needed to call in air support and then medevac for the injured, but the commander – let’s call him Major Tom – was hell-bent on earning himself a silver star or whatever his country handed out for these things. He ordered us to regroup and then led us back up the hill in a suicidal second attack. Two more men were killed and Major Tom himself was badly injured.’
‘But you were unhurt?’
‘A few scratches, nothing serious.’ He sounded miles away. ‘Those of us who were still alive fell back to a defensive position and I took command. Major Tom was bleeding badly but he grabbed me and told me to attack again.’ David suddenly turned towards Jane and she found herself staring into his eyes. ‘I refused. I told the surviving guys to stay put and called in helicopter evacuation for the wounded instead. Major Tom’s last words to me were that he would see me court-martialled for disobeying orders.’
‘How many of you made it out safely?’
‘Five men died in the action and two others died of their wounds before the chopper reached us. Major Tom – although, like I say, that wasn’t his real name – died in the helicopter. As soon as it became clear that they’d been expecting us, it was lunacy to go ahead with the second assault, let alone a third, without air support but that’s the kind of guy he was: death or glory. Well, he got death.’ His voice tailed off, but he rallied. ‘Six more guys were seriously wounded but survived. That left just ten of us.’
‘And your mission?’
‘With the help of a drone attack, we managed to get the job done, but it was tough.’
‘And that’s when you were wounded?’
‘Yes.’ This was followed by a long silence before he added, ‘Walking wounded. I got off better than most.’
Jane was dying to find out more about the extent of his wounds but it was clear he didn’t want to talk about them, so she just did her best to sound encouraging. ‘But why leave the army? These things happen. You can’t win all the time.’
‘One simple reason: I disobeyed a direct order and Major Tom was right. That would have been a court-martial offence if anybody else had heard it. Luckily for me, nobody did – or at least the ones nearby claimed not to have heard a thing. The army isn’t designed for people who decide to pick and choose which orders to obey. But the fact is, if the circumstances were to be repeated, I would absolutely do the same thing all over again. A hundred years ago, after the defeat at Caporetto, not that far to the northeast of here, the Italian High Command ordered hundreds and hundreds of summary executions of men who did what I had just done. No, I knew I had to get out, so I did.’
‘But surely that’s the end of it now. You did the right thing.’ She laid a supportive hand on his arm and gave it a little squeeze. ‘Now you need to get on with your life. That’s what everybody’s been tellingmeto do, after all.’
‘Ah, but you left a hero. I left under a cloud – at least inside my head. If Major Tom had survived, all I would have got would have been a dishonourable discharge.’
‘I think you’re wrong. We live in different times now. The days of the Charge of the Light Brigade are long gone. The lives of our troops are far more valuable now. If anything, Major Tom deserved to be put on trial for sacrificing his men in such a foolhardy manner. From what you’ve told me, any tribunal would have sided with you in taking the decision to save the lives of the last of your men.’
‘And myself, don’t forget. No, I’m sure Major Tom would have slanted it so as to show that I was just thinking about saving my own skin.’
‘I still think you’re wrong.’
‘Who knows? But there was more to it than that.’
‘Such as…?’
