Page 21 of The Fated and the Damned
Eszter shuffled to face me, and I rolled over so we were nearly nose to nose, like we’d lain so many times before as children, whispering secrets and telling stories when Mama thought us asleep.
“It matters to me,” she said quietly, her soft doe-eyes glimmering. “I know you still feel something for him. I know you’re hurting and you want to believe in him again. You might not believe it, but I think you can repair what was broken. What he did to you was wrong, I’m not denying that, but is it possible the things he did were for all the right reasons?”
I shut my eyes, not wanting to open those wounds again. I didn’t want to feel the pain of his betrayal, nor let those aches come to the surface. It still hurt too much. I rubbed my hand absently over my chest, right over the scar from where his mother had stabbed me.
“I’m not sure we’ll ever get back to that place again, Eszti,” I murmured. “I’m not sure he even wants to.”
“Bullshit.”
My lids snapped open as I blinked at a sharpness in her voice I’d never heard before.
“You think I don’t see the way he pines for you like a lost puppy? He’s broken, Kitarni—more than you realise. Beneath that perfect smile and the cool, calm exterior is a man who’shurting. His mother is a sadist. A gods damned nightmare. And his actions led her to hurt the one woman he was meant to protect.”
My heart panged with sorrow. I knew his mother had done some damage. Hell, anyone would carry some trauma if they learned their long-lost mother had turned out to be very much alive and, subsequently, a murderous bitch. But how could I truly understand if he wouldn’t talk to me? He’d never really tried …
Or had I just not wanted to hear?
I pawed at my eyes, grunting as I shifted onto my back. My body ached from today’s trials, and there were bruises all over my body to prove it. Iren had done a number with her little trick today. Gods, if I was human, she might have killed me.
Sighing, I glanced sidelong at Eszter, who was waiting patiently for me to work through my emotions, and oh, wasn’t that just the wellspring that kept on giving? I thought of the last few months spent in misery, avoiding Dante at all costs despite wanting the very opposite, because it was hard to admit but … I missed him. His warmth, his voice, those damned dimples.
Everything.Which only made it even harder.
I said calmly, “So I should forgive him because he has mummy issues? We all carry heavy burdens, it can’t all fall on me to lighten his load to make him feel better.”
“You’re right. The pair of you are holding the weight of the world on your shoulders. Wouldn’t it be easier if you shared that? Did you ever wonder what it would have been like in his boots? She’d ransomed his brother, Kit. His family.”
Guilt speared through me, my stomach knotting with the thought of Eszter being in Lukasz’s position. If Baba Yaga had threatened to kill my sister, I’d have done anything—everything—to save her. Including what Dante did to me.
“I know you’d pull apart the world to save me. Love is your greatest strength … and your biggest weakness.” Eszter’s face softened and she took my hand gently. “I can’t tell you what to do or how to feel, Kitarni. That’s for you and you alone to work through, but I will say that being human—as much as a táltos can be—isn’t something you can fault him for. In our world, full of magic and power and mystical things, we can’t afford to forget the parts that set us aside from darker beings. He made mistakes, but he did it with love in his heart.”
Tears pricked my eyes, the pain in my chest blooming. “Who made you so wise?” I asked with wobbling lips. “Because you sure as shit didn’t learn it from me.”
She chuckled, wiping away the salt tracking down my cheeks. “You taught me more than you know. I’ve always looked up to you. My big sister and my fierce protector. I love you more than anything and I always will, but there’s a space in your heart that Mama and I can’t fill. You’ve been hurt so many times by the ugliness in this world, don’t you think it’s time you allowed yourself to be loved?”
My heart squeezed to hear those words and I burst into fresh tears, chest heaving and nose sniffing as Eszter pulled me into her arms and we just lay there bundled together, two halves of the same soul.
She was right. I’d always looked out for her, always tried to solve my own problems and go it alone, but I couldn’t do it anymore. It would take a village—a damned congregation of covens—to face what was coming. I had to lead, but I didn’t have to do it alone. I had my family and friends and, despite everything, I knew I’d always have him.
I just had to figure out how.
TEN
Dante
Weneedtotalk.
That’s all the parchment said on the front page, slipped under my door just moments ago. I frowned as I turned it over, the script on the other side piquing my curiosity. The letter instructed me to meet at the temple in due haste, and it was signedK.
My heart did a panicked flip as I paced the small room I was staying in at the village inn, my stomping wearing out the threadbare rug and no doubt the owner’s patience, too. Fuck. I’d fought numerous monsters, cultists and men, yet a simple sentence had me losing my shit like a man caught mid-romp by their mistress’s husband.
Not that I had ever been in that situation, but a certain blond-haired rake had. Where was that asshole when I needed him? I swept a hand through my hair, plucking my shirt from the cot and taking a breath as I glanced out the slitted arch that passed for a window.
The hour was late and a harvest moon glimmered from the midnight skies beyond, yellow and seemingly close enough to cast a rope around tonight. I’d take it as a sign of good luck because I’d damned well need it for the storm brewing. Kitarni didn’t do things by halves, so the meeting could go one of two ways.
I’d be on the receiving end of her wrath before we’d eventually lay everything on the table, talk it out and come to a mutual agreement to set aside our differences and work together for the good of our people.
Or—and a very big or at that—she’d forgive me. Give me another chance. Gods, what I wouldn’t do to hold her again. To see her smile on our wedding day with some small slither of joy. Anything would be better than a marriage born of hate and disappointment.
