Page 161 of Lavish
CHAPTER 36
Serena
It didn’t takeus long to make it to the hospital, after we headed home to clean up and change. In the shower I felt my hands shaking, and every time I closed my eyes, I saw the fire.
Most of the family was already there out front; even Noelle was in deep conversation with Reese’s mother, Pauline.
“Is Lu done yet? I wanna see my niece! If they name her after me, it’s a bonus.” Gigi crossed her legs on the chair.
Daddy didn’t look up from his magazine. “No one is naming her after you.”
“Why? You named me. Wasn’t the name you gave me good enough?”
Reese’s family was clustered near the vending machine. His older sister, Jennie, was practically vibrating with excitement, talking a mile a minute to the poor nurse stuck listening.
Erik turned to me.
“Serena,” he said quietly. His voice was low, only for me. “You have a second to talk?”
My throat tightened. I nodded, trying to act casual, like my heart wasn’t hammering in my chest.
“Yeah,” I said. “Yeah, okay.”
We walked down the hallway a bit away from the rest, and I cleared my throat. “So…”
Erik shoved his hands in his pockets. His jaw tightened, like he was working out what the hell to say.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I let out a breath. “I should be saying that to you.”
He sighed, glancing down before looking back at me. “I shouldn’t have put my hands on Miles. That was…that was too far. I should have talked to you about things.”
“I shouldn’t have slapped you. I—” I swallowed. “I was angry. At you, at Mama, at myself. And maybe I took it out on you because…you’ve always been the one who had it together.”
His brow furrowed, his mouth parting slightly, but I pushed through.
“I was so jealous of you,” I whispered. “And I hated myself for it. I should have spoken up, but I thought I could fix things. Then when Lu left, I thought maybe I could take her spot. It would be you and me. But it never happened.”
“Rena, you should have told me,” Erik said.
“Be real, Erik, we’ve never been close. I’m used to doing things on my own. You’re used to saving Gigi and Laurene.”
“You’re right,” he murmured. “I haven’t been there for you the way I should’ve. And I’m sorry for that.”
The apology hit something deep inside me, something I hadn’t even realized was waiting. My throat tightened again, but this time it wasn’t anger—it was the ache of finally hearing the words I’d needed for so long.
I gave a shaky laugh. “God, I hated myself for wanting her attention so badly.”
He gave a small, almost helpless laugh and shook his head. “We’re a mess.”
“Complete disaster,” I agreed, laughing under my breath. “But this is our family.”
Erik disagreed. “We’ll do better. Not just for us, but the next generation. So they don’t have to deal with this.”
“I think that’s a good thing,” I said.
“I’m here for you, Serena. For anything. Whether you want to talk, rant, or have me listening, I’m here and I love you. I hope you can believe and trust me.”
