Page 125 of Lavish
“I’m serious, talk to me,” Gigi said again.
I stared at the row of silk blouses in front of me. My mind should’ve been focused on work, on damage control with Jenese, on keeping the King legacy intact—but all I could think about washim.
“I don’t do this,” I said finally. “I don’t spiral. I don’tfeelthis much. It’s inefficient.”
Gigi blinked. “Girl, what?”
“It’s like—there’s a framework for everything. I know how to win a negotiation, secure a deal, destroy a competitor if I need to. That makes sense to me. But this?” I shook my head, my voice dipping. “He makes me feel things I don’t know how to categorize.”
“So what’s the problem? That y’all fucked and you caught feelings?”
“I love him.”
It was comical the way Gigi’s and Laurene’s expressions went blank, and they stared at me like I had grown a second head.
“And he told me he loves me.”
Laurene clasped her hands together. “Serena! That’s amazing.”
“Wait, wait, wait. What? How the hell did this happen so quick?” Gigi looked between us. “What Lu said before was correct? You were sleeping around with Miles years ago.”
I hesitated, then looked at Laurene.
She nodded gently, like she was telling me it was okay. That I could say it.
“We weren’t just messing around,” I said quietly. “We were in a relationship. He proposed to me.”
Gigi’s mouth fell open. “Bitch, what?”
Laurene’s jaw dropped. “He—what?!”
Gigi damn near collapsed onto the floor, flailing like someone just told her the world was ending. “Y’all been sneaky as hell! And Iknewsomething was off!”
She sank onto the edge of the chaise, clutching her chest like she was genuinely winded. “Nah. Nope. Uh-uh. This is too much.”
Laurene leaned forward, still dazed. “Serena…why didn’t you tell us?”
“Because I didn’t want anyone to know,” I said, quieter now. “I didn’t want anyone to see how much it meant. And when it ended, I—I couldn’t even talk about it.”
It was kinda weird telling my sisters all that. I liked figuring things out myself, but…maybe Miles had a point. It helped having them understand, it made things easier. “I don’t like being seen,” I admitted after a long pause. “Not like that. Not when I haven’t controlled what’s being shown. There’s too much I haven’t figured out yet. Too much that could go wrong.”
Gigi softened. “You mean like getting hurt?”
“Or being vulnerable?” Laurene said.
“I mean like losing,” I said sharply. “You don’t understand what that feels like for me. It’s not just emotional—it’s personal.Strategic. If I slip, even once, it’s not just me that falls. It’s our name. Our legacy. Everything I’ve spent years building could unravel.”
Gigi studied me, and then her voice lowered, unusually gentle. “Rena…that sounds exhausting.”
Itwasexhausting. But I couldn’t say that. Not out loud.
Instead, I glanced away. “I don’t know what I want from him. I only know that I can’t stop wanting.”
“I mean, I know I give you shit about being Mama’s little solider, but you’ve been serious since we were kids, Rena.” Gigi smiled at me.
I turned to look at her, brows pulling together. “What does that even mean?”
“You’ve always beenon. Class president. Valedictorian. If there was a team captain, you were it. Every time. You like…seek out the weight. Like if no one else is carrying it, you’ll do it just so it doesn’t get dropped.”
