Page 23 of All You Need is Alien Love
Mom nods. “As Captain Kirk would say,Risk is our business.”
We grin at each other, and I revel in the moment of mother-son bonding—we haven’t had enough of that and need to make up for lost time.
“Did you say hack?” Nirblob asks, perking up. “I may not have mentioned it before, but I am quite skilled at such things.”
“You are a man of many talents, Nirblob, and I’m all about using them.”
He preens.
Meanwhile, I start vibrating with excitement as I realize a critical connection I’ve made here. “Ahem. What, my friends, do the Kobayashi Maru, James T. Kirk, andIndependence Dayhave in common?”
Nirblob strokes his chin. “I have not seenIndependence Dayyet. But I have a sneaking suspicion I need to, based on the way you are looking at me right now.”
I chortle with glee. “Mwahahahaha! Listen closely friends, because we can take a lot of inspiration from Jeff Goldblum’s character in that film. He comes up with a genius method of thwarting the invading aliens just when all hope seems lost.”
My mom nods at me in complete understanding. Iknewshe’d get where I’m going with all this!
Nirblob does a little pirouette of excitement on his skates. “We shall put our combined and most impressive brain power to the task. As a duo, you and I could take over the universe if we wanted.” He follows that up with his favorite Lord Vardox-inspired evil laugh.
Fuck, am I glad he’s on our side!
Ellie lets out a frustrated noise. “For those of us not in the know, what thehellare you two talking about?”
I waggle a finger at her. “Tut, tut, Mama-in-Law. Both fictional scenarios I mentioned involve supersmart heroes who find a way to change the situation to deliberately turn it in their favor. First and foremost, it starts with a quintessentialStar Trekconundrum. In the darkest moment, when all seems hopeless, you win by using an unexpected approach to the problem that others don’t see coming. In honor of Captain Kirk, Starfleet Academy’s brilliant training exercise, the Kobayashi Maru, andIndependence Day, let me fill you in on whatI’m calling, Operation CHAOS—Confuse, Harass, Aggravate, Overwhelm, and Sabotage…”
CHAPTER SIX
Vardox laid siege to his opponent, his eyes blazing red with Masnok battle rage but his mind was icy cold and calm as he studied the movements of his enemy. He’d not become one of the most talented and successful warriors among his people by letting his emotions overrule his strategic logic. Being able to identify and analyze an opponent’s greatest weakness, even in the midst of battle, was often the key to defeating them.
Using only his tentacles at first, Vardox did not bother to grab his blades just yet. His ten deadly appendages were giving Khamos plenty of trouble on their own. The foolish Katnu space pirate had enough sense to recognize just how lethal the poisoned tips were.
Khamos was armed with two curved ritual combat blades, known as Kerrath Fangs. Forged from a strong meteoric ore found on the Katnu planet, they were sickle-shaped, with serrated edges on the inner curve. He lashed out at Vardox’s tentacles as they continued their relentless onslaught. Vardox needed to learn what these weapons could do before he made his next move.
Khamos laughed maniacally as he managed to lop off the barbed tip of one of Vardox’s tentacles, but Vardox barely registered the pain. It was nothing compared to the training he’d undergone in his youth. Besides, the tip of his tentacle would grow back. Learning what his opponent and his weapons were capable of was more important at the moment.
No, for now, Vardox’s approach was to both tire his enemy and learn his movements and drain his stamina. While his weapons were certainly dangerous, Khamos’s skill with them was limited and his movements began to falter with each new attack that Vardox was able to deflect successfully.
When Khamos was panting heavily, Vardox, barely winded, grinned at him. Now, the real battle would begin.
—The Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade, Ch. 161
Kai
Galactic gods,what can’t River convince me to do?
At this point, I honestly can’t imagine there’s much he wouldn’t be able to talk me into.
We’re at our house preparing for the what River calls a Family Bonding Night. He proposed this to Melody and Chris as a weekly event to help rebuild their relationship, and as his husband, I needed to be part of things as well.
Naturally, I offered to make myself scarce if River wanted the time alone with his parents, but he’d just given me a kiss on the tip of my nose, as if I had said something ridiculous, and told me that he wanted me by his side.
My tentacles liked when he said that. Very much.
So there was no way I was going to let him down, no matter what.
I study myself in the mirror and wince. “Was this… absolutely necessary?”
His green eyes sparkle with merriment. “Of course, silly! Tonight is our Christmas-themed FBN.”
