Page 21 of All You Need is Alien Love
I sniffle, suddenly all up in my feels. I have the best extraterrestrial friends and found family in the whole universe!
A familiar head of bright red hair bobs through the crowd, and one of my favorite little old alien ladies, Darla, shuffles forward, armed and ready.
With a cigarette dangling from her rouged lips, she holds her bright pink lightsaber dong aloft. “This bad boy is ready to lay the smackdown on these evil mofos whenever you need it.”
Darla’s Lightsaber Dong of Doom, as I like to call it, and I go way back. It actually saved my life when Shilgar the Deadly was trying to shank me in a casino. I stabbed him right in the eye with it.
Heh. That moment was pretty epic.
The door to the bar slams open and I jump in surprise. My mom and dad come striding in with determined looks on their faces.
Uh-oh. That can’t be good.
Mom cocks her head meaningfully toward the back room. It looks like a private conversation needs to happen ASAP.
I focus on the crowd again. “On behalf of the Alliance, let me thank you all for your offers of support. Please stick around so some of our staff can take down your information and any details about what you might be able to assist us with. Thank you!”
Roxy, Lu-Ren, and Zamir stay behind to handle that while the rest of us head with Nirblob to his office in the back of the bar. It’s the first time I’ve seen how he’s decked the space out like it’s a retroStar Treklounge.
I gape. “Holy geek heaven, Batman! This is so freaking cool.”
Nirblob rolls around the room on his roller skates, cloak billowing around him, before he gracefully takes a swivel seat and motions us to join him.
Although I’m partly distracted by the awesome room—complete with red shag carpet and moon chairs—my gut’s still churning with worry. Whatever my parents found out from their off-planet reconnaissance can’t be good.
“What did you discover?” Maddox asks my parents, getting straight to business as we take our seats.
Mom’s expression is grim. “Layne Madison is farther along in his plan than we thought. From what we’ve uncovered, it looks like they’ll be in orbit around Earth within ten days.”
I pale and Kai, sensing my distress, takes hold of my suddenly cold hand.
“What do we know about his forces?” Ellie asks.
“Not much. It doesn’t appear to be a full-scale invasion force. One of the ships is clearly a Vroknu vessel though,” Dad says.
Maddox rubs a hand over his face. “We recently learned about the Vroknu ship as well. They’re formidable warriors and will no doubt pose one of the greatest dangers. Our one advantage is that they prefer hand-to-hand combat with bladed weapons rather than phasers or other projectiles.”
Mom nods. “We’ll have to prepare for how to deal with their forces. They’ll be looking to kill first and ask questions later.”
Well, shit just got super fucking real.
I clear my throat. “We’re not following the same MO, right?”
Ellie cracks her knuckles. “Alliance protocol is to try and capture the enemy alive and turn them over to our backup coming from Intergalactic Alliance HQ. But in a life-and-death battle, casualties are likely to happen.”
“We got the short end of the stick in this scenario. I mean, trying to capture them alive when they’re trying to actively kill us isn’t going to be easy,” Mal gripes. “What we need is some kind of brilliant master plan.” He turns to me expectantly.
Then I find everyone else following his movement.
I gulp. “Ha… ha… uh… sure. Coming up with a way to outsmart alien invaders should be a piece of cake.”
Nirblob strokes his chin in contemplation. “I believe you Earthlings have an expression that goes,the best defense is a good offense. It seems most appropriate now.”
Ellie grins at him. “I’m really starting to like you.”
I consider him thoughtfully for a moment. “Any suggestions on how we can better defend ourselves?”
“Some new weapons that will increase our chances of fewer casualties might be a good start. I could help you design them.”
