Page 75 of All You Need is Alien Love
Several of my coworker friends have confided in me that outside of work they share a pastime they callLARPing. They have invited me to participate, but I’m quite confused about how this activity works. I want to be part of this activity but worry that I might make an embarrassing social faux pas or worse! My colleagues take their LARPing very seriously and are preparing for something called Drachenfest. They’ve even invited me to join their “camp” if I’m interested. My research shows that there can be dire consequences if you do it incorrectly. I don’t want to commit a social faux pas or “die a social death,” as one Reddit source claims.
Help! How can I participate in the LARPing fun while not making a fool of myself or seeming like I don’t appreciate my colleagues and their lifestyle?
Yours Truly,
Lost When it Comes to LARPing
Dear Lost When it Comes to LARPing,
Your job sounds really cool and it seems as though you have some fun coworkers who want to make friends with you. That’s great! Participating in their hobbies is a wonderful opportunity to build deeper friendships with them.
While I admit I’m not an expert when it comes to this activity, I do have some friends of my own who are pretty hardcore about it, sometimes even LARPing as my characters inThe Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade! Live-action role-playing (or LARPing) is essentially embodying and performing a character different from your usual self. Theoptions are endless! You can indulge your most creative fantasies and design looks that are true to your favorite characters, or you can create your own. That said, when it comes to Drachenfest, the fantasy genre appears to be the most drawn upon to create characters to embody, such as wizards, dragons, knights, mages, faeries, etc. I would recommend doing a bit of a deep dive on the fantasy genre to see what kinds of fictional characters interest you most. It would also be a good idea to ask your friends who their characters are in advance. You don’t want to step on anyone’s toes and go dressed to the party as the beloved character someone else has already claimed dibs on. Don’t hesitate to be honest with your friends about being a newbie, but emphasize your enthusiasm and willingness to learn! I’m sure they’ll be more than happy to teach you everything you need to know. They might even have a character gap in their group that you can volunteer to fill—remember, team work makes the dream work!
Your nervousness about this process is understandable, but don’t forget that you have some experience with role-playing already. While living on Earth, you’re essentially LARPing as a human on a daily basis to blend in! When you think of it that way, you might realize you’re more than capable of LARPing as someone or something else. Heck, you may even be able to fashion a fantasy character that allows you to show off some of the true characteristics of your species and explain them as part of your LARPing persona—just make sure no one can discover that your “extra-realistic elements aren’t part of your costume or makeup for the role! Most importantly, have fun with it and make sure to get pictures and report back. I want to hear all the deets.
With all due dramatic flair,
Dr. TEA
River
Now that Iget a better gander at him, I realize Fabian looks like shit.
And no, that’s not me just being bitchy, thank you very much.
To be honest, I didn’t spend a lot of time focusing on him earlier—mostly because he had a fucking phaser to my hubby-boo’s head—but now I can see the guy looks like he just came off a bender. Or a really bad case of stomach flu.
He’s pale and sweaty, with dark circles under his eyes. His hair is greasy and unkempt, and there’s some nasty gunk on his shoes. I have to wonder when the last time was this guy had a good meal and a hot shower.
I arch a dubious eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you want a duel, man? You don’t look well at all. In fact, I think you might need to take a little siesta somewhere. Maybe an intergalactic spa where you can… er… commit yourself, if you catch my drift.” Honestly, if he’s still this messed up in the head about Kai, then he needs professional help at this point.
Fabian snarls. “That mouth of yours never knows when to shut up, does it?”
“Not really.” I grin unrepentantly. “It’s one of the things Kai loves about me.”
Look, I may feel a teensy bit bad for Fabian, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to let him walk all over me. He did assist in kidnapping my boo, which was not part of my plan, and I don’t owe him shit.
He bristles with rage. “I have formally challenged you to an Iyaran duel, and you have answered that challenge. Don’t regret the outcome when I win!”
I sigh, long and loud. “Dude, I have no idea what you’re hoping to accomplish with this. Kai and I have already completed the Sanctioning Ceremony, like you heard earlier. Inthe eyes of your people and the rest of the universe, this duel will be null and void no matter what the outcome. My union with Kai is official and has been signed, sealed, and delivered to the Intergalactic Registry.”
He sputters. “The ceremony wasn’t performed on our home world. It doesn’t count.”
I roll my eyes. “Of course it does. Plenty of Iyarans complete the ceremony off-world.” I shake my head. “It’s time to stop being a bitter bitch and move on with your life. This hostility is totally toxic and eating you alive. Besides, it’s not like Kai cheated on you. I didn’t steal him from you, either. You two had ended your arrangement a long time ago before we even met.” I pause for a moment. “Sure, granted, I agree, the whole FWB situation was never a good idea on either of your parts. You both made a bad call when you agreed to that arrangement. In my experience, FWB never works. Someone always gets hurt. I’m sorry it was you. And Kai’s sorry that he hurt you, like he’s told you many times. But he was also always honest and upfront with you that your situationship would never be anything serious. You’re the one who took it too far, and now it’s time make like Elsa and let it go.”
“What do you know?! Kai needs to be with one of his kind in order to find true happiness. You’re just a foolish Earthling and not worthy of him!”
I shake my head sadly. “That just proves you don’t know Kai at all. He doesn’t care about what species I am, he loves me forwhoI am as a person. I get it, sometimes it can be hard to face the truth when it comes to love. But Kai didn’t see you that way, and he never will. And yeah, I’m sure that fucking sucks for you, and you’re all up in your feels about it, but you can’t make someone love you who doesn’t.” I sigh again. “I’ve had to learn that lesson a few times in my life, and it hurt every time. But those people were never right for me nor I for them. And nowI’m glad it never stopped me from believing in true love because I finally found it—and you can too. I’m sure there’s someone out there in this vast universe who’s perfect for you. If you let go of your anger and your bitterness, you could find your true love, too.”
Miracles can happen, after all. Although, despite my pep talk, I’m not sure that’s in the karma cards for this guy.
Fabian’s expression turns icy cold. “Enough with your useless chatter. We duel or you never see Kai again.”
So that’s how he wants to play it. Well, at least I tried. I’ve also noticed that Adeline is conspicuously absent, and I have no doubt that Kai is with her. She’s the one I really need to deal with, and the sooner the better.
Nirblob and I could probably pretty easily overpower Fabian and the half dozen mercenaries he has with him. However, it’s become clear that, if Kai and I are going to make a clean break from this fool, then I need to beat him fair and square in this duel. It’s time to give him a lesson in tough love. That might be the only thing to wake him up.
“Fine, man, have it your way. Let’s start this.” I glance at his goons. “I take it these guys aren’t going to interfere since this is between you and me?”
