Page 51 of All You Need is Alien Love
River sways a little where he sits, his eyes blinking sleepily. “One of my dreams is to visit your home world with you. I want to know more about where you came from and meet your extended family.” He leans an elbow on his knee and rests his chin in his hand as he looks at me. “I want to swim naked in the ocean there with you, where you can let all your tentacles out and not have to worry. Every inch of you is beautiful and I want to celebrate that while we make unforgettable memories together.”
My tentacles throb with pleasure at his words and my hearts swell in my chest. “Thank you for sharing that wonderful dream with me. I swear on my honor, we will make that happen.”
He lights up brighter than a supernova and it makes me giddy inside.
I don’t have to think before I give my response. “My dream is pretty simple. I want to grow old with you while we travel together on this amazing journey of life. It won’t always be easy, and we’ll undoubtedly face our own share of challenges over the years, but together I know we can weather them all. I also swear that I will do everything in my power to make sure that there are more good times than bad. No matter what happens or where life takes us, I want to experience it all with you. There could be nothing more perfect to me than that.”
Tears well in River’s eyes and his bottom lip trembles. “You just hit me with a superstealthy romantic whammy, Kai.” He sniffles. “I swear that we’ll always be together, facing whatever comes as a team. Our love is unstoppable!”
For an instant, I swear I can see our future reflected in his eyes—and it’s beautiful.
My mom claps her hands together loudly. “I think that’s my cue to call an end to this session. The elixir is going to start making our couple very sleepy soon. Fortunately, they won’t have any nasty hangover effect in the morning?—”
I tune out the rest of her words as my mind starts to drift on the gentle wave it’s riding. My thoughts wander back to my unanswered question, and I grin to myself.
Tomorrow night. I’ll pry the truth out of him—even if I have to enact some Lord Vardox methods in the process.
Mmmm…
CHAPTER TWELVE
Spill the TEA: Trustworthy Earthling Advice
Issue 7
I hope you’re all doing well, friends. Things have been a bit busy on my end but I’m still here to field your most pressing questions and offer sage advice. Don’t hesitate to reach out if you’re in need of guidance from a trustworthy Earthling!
Now, onto our conundrum of the day… an accidental Vulcan-type predicament.
Dear Dr. TEA,
Help! I was a little stressed out recently and accidentally mind-melded with a manager from another department during a joint staff meeting. Now I know all about his recent divorce, his receding hairline woes, his favorite human porn sites, and his secret fantasy of being pegged by a dominant woman.
Needless to say, this is extremely awkward and I can’t look him in the eye at the moment. I’ve been avoiding him whenever possible. I feel bad because he didn’t give me consent to invade his mind like that, and it was totally my fault for picking up the wrong coffee mug and taking a drink. Obviously, he doesn’t have the same ability, so it was a totally one-sided meld, which is just wrong. I’ll admit, it’s been a bit of an adjustment here on Earth where so few humans guard their minds in a manner standard to that of my home world, but that’s still no excuse for my catastrophic mistake.
What should I do? I don’t know how to act around him now. How do I make things less uncomfortable without exposing what I know?
Also, on my home world, females are the more dominant ones in the bedroom, and I know just how to make him scream in pleasure. Is it wrong of me to mention that I might be interested in fulfilling that fantasy of his?
Best,
Ms. Mind-Meld Mistake
Dear Ms. Mind-Meld Mistake,
You’ve just made my Vulcan fantasies a reality! There are folks who can seriously do a mind-meld? How cool is that? I do agree, the fact it was one-sided isn’t cool, especially if your manager didn’t agree to it. Consent, in all things, is key! But, as you said, it wasn’t intentional and the fact that you feel guilty about it is a testament to your good character.
From where I sit, the onus seems to be on you to make things right without revealing too much. It sounds like he’s been through a bit of a rough patch in his personal life. Getting older is never easy and divorce, particularly later inlife, comes with its own challenges. Having both happen at the same time could compound feelings of loneliness and worrying about trying to date again.
Advice #1: Be kind (unless he’s an asshole, of course). A little kindness can go a long way. Consider inviting him out for coffee during your lunch break. Extend the olive branch of professional friendship to start. It may never go beyond this, and that’s okay. Just because you know his fantasies doesn’t mean you should act on them.
Advice #2: Listen. If he’s receptive to your friendship, he might share some of his personal troubles with you. He may just need a friend to vent with and that isn’t a hard role to fill. Here’s where you can be understanding without revealing that you’ve already, accidentally, seen his memories and innermost thoughts.
Advice #3: Most people would say getting involved with a coworker is a bad idea (Note: be sure to check your company’s policy on this!) But I’m not a hypocrite. I totes fell in love with my coworker and made him my husband—score!—so if he’s not your boss and you’re genuinely interested, then test the waters and see if he’s interested in you and what you have to offer. If he’s down, I say peg away!
P.S. Be more careful in future so you don’t end up in a similar situation again.
Gayer than a glitter bomb at Pride,
