Page 44 of All You Need is Alien Love

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My boo clears his throat and starts. “’An Ode to My Life Mate,’ by Kai Genaro.” I smile through my tears in encouragement. I can’t wait!

You are better than chocolate

And sweeter than pie

Without you in my life

I think I would die.

You make me smile

And laugh like no other

For you, my hearts go to eleven

Because we complete one another.

My tentacles always want to cuddle you

But you never seem to mind

You’re a precious, one-of-a-kind treasure

I never thought I’d find.

You’re braver than Captain Starblade

And can defeat a Groxil all on your own.

When I saw that happen,

I totally wanted us to bone!

You’re sexier than Lord Vardox—I mean it!

To me, you’re super fucking hot

You always know how to rev my engine

And tie my tentacles up in knots.

You’re definitely more talented

Than anyone else I know

With you, I’ll travel anywhere

You ever want to go.

Our honeymoon, I’ve been planning

Every day from dusk to dawn

So get ready, baby

Because we’re going to Tentacular Tales Con!

I’ll boldly take you,

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