Page 13 of All You Need is Alien Love
Evan gives me a sly look. “Too busy getting dicked down by your tentacled husband, you mean.”
I poke him in the side and he giggles.
“Hell yeah, I’ve been getting probed in all the right ways by Kai’s talented appendages on the regular. But it hasn’t all been orgasms and rainbows.” I start counting off on my fingers. “I’ve been dealing with a lot, like getting kidnapped. Nearly being killed by an assassin. Discovering my parents aren’t really dead. Getting married to my boo. Preparing for a possible alien invasion. Oh, and training for the fucking Iyaran Sanctioning Ceremony.”
It’s a lot, but legit, I’m sort of more anxious about that last one than anything else.
Evan rests his head on my shoulder. “Pobrecito. How are you holding up?”
“Honestly? I don’t know. So much has happened in just a few short months. It’s nearly Christmas now and I only met Kai forthe first time in September. There are days I can hardly believe how much has happened in such a short amount of time.”
Evan sighs dreamily. “You had a whirlwind romance that would make most folks green with envy. Your life is practically a telenovela. I mean, from finding out you’re alien royalty and then having people try to kidnap and kill you. Oh! And throwing a jealous ex from your boo’s past into the mix before ending with your parents returning from the dead y eso! You have the makings of your own show. All you need is an evil twin to show up or a secret baby, and you’ve collected all the standard tropes like Infinity Stones!”
That makes me laugh. “Holy shit. You’re totally right. I mean, it’s more of a sci-fi telenovela, but still.”
Side bar: why hasn’t anyone made a sci-fi telenovela yet? I’d watch the hell out of that.
Evan picks up his signature drink, a Lemon Drop Martini that he earlier made for himself, and takes a sip. “There’s been almost no normalcy in your life since you joined the Alliance. It’s all been chaos and the unexpected. Hell, you and Kai haven’t even had the chance to go on a honeymoon yet. Maybe everything will feel more settled when the danger and upheaval passes?”
“You’re probably right,” I admit.
He arches a dark, perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me. “Si. I’m always right, querido.”
I laugh and then brighten. “Oh! Speaking of honeymoons, Kai told me he wants to plan ours as a surprise for me.”
Evan gives a little squee of delight. “Felicidades! How exciting! I can’t wait to hear what he comes up with. He’s such a romantic when it comes to you.”
It’s my turn to sigh dreamily. “He was so adorable and earnest about it all. Kai wants to make it something really special for me.” I wince. “Although I sort of suspect he’s also tryingto apologize for the insanity that is this Sanctioning Ceremony we’ve been preparing for over the last month.”
Evan sets down his cocktail and takes hold of my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “You’ve been working so hard. Everything is going to be just fine.”
I genuinely hope he’s right. The whole thing is making me a nervous wreck. I don’t want to disappoint Kai’s family. This ceremony is so much more significant to them than our Earth marriage. In their eyes, we’re not officially mates until the Sanctioning Ceremony has been completed.
“It’s going to be three days of torture,” I say with a groan.
Evan scoffs softly. “That’s only because you can’t have your usual daily fuckfest with Kai until it’s over.”
I raise an eyebrow and sniff primly. “Like I said, torture.”
I can’t imagine going three days without sexing up my hubby-boo. I’m a young gay man with needs! However, the Sanctioning Ceremony requires we sleep apart from each other starting the night before everything begins and staying separated until it’s over. Kai’s grandmother told me it was about making us yearn for one another and blah-de-blah-blah-blah. I wasn’t really paying attention after I was told I wouldn’t be able to have sex with Kai. For three. Whole. Days!
Evan takes one look at me pouting and snort-laughs. “A little abstinence never hurt anyone.”
That earns him mybitch, pleaseface. “Like you’re one to talk. When was the last time you went without any?”
To my surprise, Evan flushes and gets a shifty look in his brown eyes.
My BFF Spidey senses go on high alert and I straighten up from my slouched position on the couch.
“Oh-hoh! Darling bestie of mine. Sweetums. Snookie bear.Whataren’t you telling me?”
Rather than answer, Evan picks up his glass and gulps down his cocktail. “Time for a refill!” he declares before hopping up and scurrying off to the kitchen.
I immediately follow him like a bloodhound on a scent. Something is up with my BFF, and I will find out what it is. There is no escape!
I study him as he makes himself another drink and can’t fight back a grin.
“Hey, Evan,” I ask in my most innocent tone, “When did you last get laid?”
