Page 83 of Tis the Season for Tentacles
But I resign myself to my fate and trudge after everyone heading to the ship’s movie theater.
Gemma’s bright-eyed and obviously intrigued, which I take as a good sign, and when she sits down in one of the theater seats, I’m not remotely surprised that Luna parks herself at Gemma’s side.
Felix and I take our own seats, and I grip the arm rests until my knuckles turn white.
Sasha moves to the front of the room and turns on the screen. “Good evening, friends. In honor of this festive holiday eve, I’m delighted to debut this year’s special Christmas episode ofThe Cat-tacular Tales of Princess Jonesy.”
Khephren begins clapping loudly. “You are so amazing, my love!”
I hang my head and cover my face with one of my tentacles.
Felix lets out a nervous laugh. “Haha. You know, uh, that kind of reminds me of this obscure online story I like to read.”
Sasha zeros in on him like a man on a mission. “No fucking way. Please tell me you also readThe Tentacular Tales of Captain Starblade.”
Felix’s eyes go wide. “This is so surreal, but yeah, I’m a huge fan.”
I startle. Felix has read that story?
A slow smile starts to spread over my lips. That would explainsomany things.
“Fucking A,” Sasha says. “I’m a major fan too, although I only discovered it when a bunch of extraterrestrials introduced me toit. You know it’s, like, a mega sensation on the intergalactic web, right?”
Felix sits up straighter. “No way. Hardly anyone on Earth knows anything about it. I honestly felt a bit weird for my level of investment in it.”
Sasha shakes his head. “Dude, it’s amazing, and totally inspired the title for my show. But we’ll get to that in a minute.” Sasha grins at him, puffing his chest out with pride. “I actually know the author.”
Felix gasps. “Shut the front door. You know KirklovesSpock4eva?”
“Fuck yeah. His real name is River Sullivan. And, get this, he works for the Alliance for Neutral Alien Lifeforms on Earth.” He smirks. “We call it ANAL.”
“No freaking way! You’re joking.”
Sasha shakes his head. “For real. I’m fucking pen pals with him. We write each other emails on the regular. He hasn’t had a chance to travel to outer space yet, but he’s dying to do it, and from what he’s told me, he should be able to in a couple more years.” He winks.
“We’re gonna try to meet up and go to Tentacular Tales Con.”
Felix jumps to his feet, eyes alight. “What???”
Sasha grins knowingly. “That’s right, there’s a fucking intergalactic fan convention forTentacular Talesthat happens every year. It’s one of the biggest conventions around the universe.”
Felix reaches out and grabs his hands. “Wehaveto go.”
Sasha gives an evil grin. “Fuck yeah, we do.” He looks over at Khephren and mock glares. “Make it so, Tentacle Boy.”
Kheph happily flaps several tentacles in the air and blows Sasha a kiss. “Anything for you, my love.”
I can’t hold back any longer. “So, you read that tentacle porn space opera, huh?”
Felix’s cheeks turn bright red.
Gemma starts cackling with laughter. “You don’t know the half of it, Najar. Not only does he read it and fanboy over it like nobody’s business, but he also writes his ownTentacular Talesfanfic.”
Felix groans and covers his face with his hands. “Gemma,” he whines, “I hadn’t told him about that yet.”
She shrugs unrepentantly. “You snooze, you lose, bro.”
“Are you sure we need to bring her along with us?” he stage-whispers to the rest of us.
