Page 2 of Tis the Season for Tentacles
Before we abducted him—I mean,invited him on an adventure in outer space, as Kheph likes to say—Sasha used to work at a place called Santa’s Winter Wonderland. I can only imagine it looked a lot like our ship does now.
Festive green garlands and strings of multicolored lights adorn every visible surface around me. Several artificial trees—I’m not sure what their purpose is in relation to this holiday—are set up in different parts of the ship and covered in an explosion of ball-like decorations and some strange, synthetic, furry substance Sasha calls “tinsel.”
Khephren hums happily as he continues attaching an odd plant to the tops of doorways.
“What is he doing?” I ask Luna in a whisper.
She grins. “Hanging mistletoe.”
I blink at her.
She rolls her eyes. “According to humans, if two individuals stand under that plant, they must kiss.”
Note to self—avoid doorways when anyone else is around.
“How long is all of this going to stay a part of the ship’s… decor?” I dare to ask.
“Who knows? Maybe forever?” Luna flashes me an unbothered smile and shrugs.
“Could be worse. Could be raining,” Rambo beeps cheerily.
I close my eyes.
At least my room has remained untainted by the chaotic explosion of holiday decorations. It might be the only part of the ship that is still unscathed. That means I have at least one place I can retreat to as I endeavor to retain my sanity.
Khephren pulls out his telecom pad and starts video-chatting with Sasha who’s still in the store.
“Holy fuck, babe! They have a twerking Santa figurine. It just needs batteries,” I hear Sasha say through the speaker.
Khephren’s eyes sparkle as he stares at the screen enthralled. “It is quite amazing. Of course, we must have it.”
“Natch,” Sasha agrees with an evil laugh.
“Wait!” Khephren cries. “Back up. What isthat?”
Sasha starts laughing. “The tag says ‘it’s an inflatable ninjabread man.’ Heh. This is pretty cool.”
“Do you think we could fit it on the ship?” Khephren asks, biting his bottom lip.
“Hmm. Supposedly, it’s five feet tall when inflated but, ooh, it has LEDs inside.”
“No,” I proclaim, putting my foot down.
Khephren turns to me with pleading, puppy-dog eyes.
Too bad for him that I’m immune by now.
Mostly.
“Don’t worry, Naj.” Sasha raises his voice so I can hear him. “I’m grabbing a Grinch pillow just for you.”
I scowl.
“Good work, my darling,” Khephren coos.
After a year of marriage, he and Sasha are still in their honeymoon phase. It’s as disgusting as it is sweet.
“Babe, what about this shirt?” I hear Sasha ask.
