Page 21 of Curve Ball
I know he's wondering why I'm running, why I won't give him a chance. There is a part of me that just wants to lay it all out and let him decide and just wait it out. To see if he is the man I hope he is. But I would hate myself if I let him hurt me or hurt our child. Call me selfish, but I would rather nottake the risk.
That’s what trauma does to you, I suppose.
You lose faith that people can actually be good people.
That a good man can actually exist.
I walk briskly through the parking lot, the cool air doing little to calm my racing thoughts. My car comes into view and I pick up the pace, hitting the remote start on my fob. I can’t believe how much has changed in such a short amount of time. Just a few months ago, I was living my life, carefree and uninterested in settling down. And now, I’m pregnant, and the father of my child is a professional baseball player who I can’t seem to get out of my head.
When I reach my car, I lean against the door, taking a deep breath, letting the vibrations soothe my racing heart. I get in and turn the heat on full blast. The drive home is a mess of me subconsciously berating myself for being a chicken and racing with thoughts of Gael, of the baby, and of the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know I have to be strong, for myself and for my child. One thing I should probably do is call my mom. If anyone could have some advice for me, it would be her. She raised me on her own after my father, if you could call him a father, chose to not be in our life.
Pulling into the parking garage of my complex and into my assigned spot, I cut the engine. I lean my head back against my headrest and let the tears fall, holding onto my belly as I whisper. “What are we going to do,mi pequeño amor? Tu mamá está tan perdida.”
10
GAEL
I’m on the field, my heart pounding in my chest as I round the bases after hitting a home run. The crowd is a whirlwind of noise and color, but all I can focus on is the fact that I just saw a ghost. Adriana is here, in the stands, watching me play. Her dark hair, her curvaceous body, and those fucking eyes that haunt my dreams—it’s all I can do to keep my shit together and not run to her right then and there.
Because let’s be so fucking for real. I was about ready to scale the wall and climb into the stands to talk with her.
I slide into home plate, and my teammate claps me on the back, but I barely register it. My mind is elsewhere, back on those stands, on her. I can’t believe she’s here. It’s been months since that night, since we hooked up and she ghosted me.
Coach pulls me aside, giving me a stern look. “You good, Gael? You zoned out there for a sec.”
“Yeah, I’m good, Coach,” I lie, forcing a smile. “Just needed to catch my breath.”
“Great hit! Keep it up.” He pats my back and sends me back to the dugout. I grab my water bottle and take a long swig, tryingto calm my racing thoughts. I need to talk to her; I need to find out why she’s here and why she hasn’t responded to any of my texts. But like an idiot, I deleted her number.
Fuck.
Really regretting that right about now.
I spend the rest of the game in a daze, going through the motions but not really present. My teammates must think I'm losing my mind, but I can't focus on anything but her. Everything I’ve worked so hard towards and I’m just pissing it away because I’ve got her stuck in my head.
The final out is made, and we win the game. The fans go wild, and it’s barely a hum in my ears as I'm already pulling off my glove, grabbing my bag, and heading for the tunnel.
I need to find her.
Naturally, I dress quickly and slip out the back to the parking lot, scanning the crowd for any sign of her. That's when I spot Kai standing with Isla by their car. They're deep in conversation, but he looks up and spots me, waving me over.
“Hey, man," Kai says, clapping me on the back. “Great game out there. That was a killer home run.”
“Thanks,” I mutter, my eyes scanning the crowd behind them, still hoping to spot Adriana.
He notices my distraction and follows my gaze. “You looking for someone?”
I hesitate, then decide to come clean. “I thought I saw someone I knew.”
Kai’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. I run a hand through my hair, frustrated. “Someone I’ve been trying to get ahold of.”
All he does is nod, understanding in his eyes. “Is this the person who’s got your head up your ass? Just call her.”
It’s not that easy.
“Yeah, you’re right. I’ll do that. See you tomorrow.” I takehis hand and pull him into a shoulder hug and head to my car, plotting how I’m going to approach this with Adriana.
Later that night,I'm back at my place, showered and changed, vegging out on my bed. I can't stop thinking about her, about the way she looked at me tonight, the way she ran away. The way I try to go over every single thing I did and said. She looked at me like she was scared.
