Page 71 of The Fear of Falling
He rolls his eyes. “Obviously.”
“Then I would love the help. Come over for dinner?”
“After dinner,” he counters, narrowing his eyes. “You’re a little too good at getting me to talk if there’s food between us.”
That was the reason I suggested dinner, but I’ll take what I can get. “Fine. I’ll text you my address.”
He hesitates, as if debating if he should rescind his offer, but then he shoves his hands into his pockets and nods. “Great. I’ll, uh, see you later.” Without saying anything else, he heads back inside, leaving me with excitement and nerves pooling in my belly.
I’m bouncing with new energy when I open the door for Benson a little after seven. A part of me is surprised he showed up, as his texts since leaving the office were full of reluctance, but he’s too good of a guy to go back on his word. I may not know everything about him, but I know that much. It’s the whole reason he won’t date me.
He looks different tonight, more casual than I’ve ever seen him in a t-shirt and gym shorts, and for some reason seeing him relaxed like this is making my heart pound in my chest.
“Well,” I say, leading him inside. “This is home.”
His jaw drops open as he takes it all in. “That’s…a lot of books.”
I moved my books from my bed to the living room after that first night I accidentally slept in the armchair, and the many piles have taken over my living room and kitchen counter. “It takes a thousand books to have a library, and I’d say I’m at least halfway there.”
“You’ve been living like this for almost two weeks?” The abject horror on his face makes me laugh.
“Are you a neat freak, Benson Jay?”
He rolls his eyes and steps over a pile of historical romances to get deeper into my apartment. “Neat freak adjacent. This is simply an uninhabitable situation for anyone.”
“Poppy said the same thing.”
“Poppy sounds smarter and smarter the more I learn about her. Where are these monstrous shelves?”
I point toward my bedroom, only realizing the intimacy of inviting him to that room when he pauses outside the door,hands on either side of the frame. He’s hesitant now that he’s realized which room I’m asking him to enter, but there’s no way to get the shelvesoutof the room without goingintothe room.
Maybe I should tell him that I can hire a couple of movers, if he’s so uncomfortable about this situation.
“This is nice,” he says, breaking through my growing nerves before I can say anything. “The space feels like you.”
“Oh, uh, thanks.” I press my hands to my cheeks to try to cool them, glad that he’s still peering into the bedroom. I just hope I didn’t overlook any dirty clothes lying around or something. I may want to date Benson West, but I’m not ready for him to see my underwear. “It’s been decorated like that pretty much since I moved in.”
He glances back at me. “Before you met Eric?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“No reason.” He finally enters the room and studies the first shelf, which is taller than him by at least a foot and feels like it’s made of the same heavy wood as my chair. I’m generally pretty frugal, but I refused to scrimp on my bookshelves. He looks the shelf up and down, wiggling it a bit and chuckling. “I can see why you might have trouble moving these with your little stick arms.”
I snort and hold both arms up, flexing nonexistent muscles. “Bookworm with an office job. I moved the chair on my own, though, so I’m not entirely useless.”
He glances around the room. “What chair?”
“It’s in the book nook already. You’ll see why it’s my claim to fame when you haul this baby in there.” I wave my hand in a circle, encouraging him to proceed.
Laughing, he grabs either side of the shelf and lifts it, showing off his muscle. I snap a picture and send the photo to Dani with no context.
“Do you want some help?” I ask, stepping out of his way as he heads for the doorway. “I hope not because I’m admiring this view.”
He nearly drops the shelf but scrambles to keep his hold. When it’s steady, he narrows his eyes at me. “Play fair. I’m doing you a favor.”
I slowly let my eyes roam from his head to his toes and back again, which is more fun than I expected. “You sure are.”
“I’ve created a monster.” His voice strains as he starts up his hauling again. “Showed her all my tricks, and now I’m questioning everything I’ve ever said to a woman.”
