Page 39 of The Fear of Falling
I laugh, and it’s a good thing Eric laughs too because otherwise I would feel like a jerk. “Yeah?”
“Yeah. It’s not like I can blame her. Avery is perfect.”
So why did you break up?Eric said it was mutual, but I still don’t know who was the first one to suggest breaking up, and that’s going to drive me nuts. I need something to distract me. “Tell me about her.”Something that isn’t that.
Tilting his head to one side, Eric studies me for a long moment with narrowed eyes. “Why?”
Oh, come on. Does he really think I’m asking because I’m planning to make a move? I can’t hold back an eye roll. “Because I already know one half of the Rose & Quill team, but I’m going to need to know about the other eventually.” If I had thought this through, I would have realized this would be a great excuse to interact with Avery.
An excuse you don’t need, I remind myself. Now, more than ever, I’m going to need to keep emotional distance in mind.
Thankfully, Eric accepts my reasoning without any more argument. “She’s… Well, she’s Avery.”
“That’s all you’ve got for me? I thought you dated.”
“We wereengaged.” Eric frowns, as if surprised by his own correction. “But she’s…she’s the kind of person who can’t be defined. You’ll just have to get to know her.”
Can’t be defined? Avery is bold and spunky. Passionate and snarky. She’s the kind of person who will fight for someone to get the most out of life and push them to love the things she does because they make her happy and she wants people to behappy too. She’s a loving older sister and cousin and supports the people she loves in any way she can. When Dani told me about her book, she also told me that Avery has been her biggest cheerleader her entire life and tends to put others’ needs before her own.
Of course, I don’t say any of this out loud because Eric has no idea I’ve been around Avery before today, and I want it to stay that way. Does this count as lying to my friend? Maybe. But I don’t see how admitting the truth will benefit anyone.
“How do you split the duties with the company?” I ask, hoping Eric will have something more concrete for this question than he did with the last one.
“Avery has the ideas,” he answers immediately. “She’s more of a broad thinker and handles the creative aspects, like working with the cover designers and formatters.”
So why did none of the marketing ideas this morning sound like her? I spent my day going through the presentation and picking out anything useful to connect to the prior research I did while on the flight to Utah yesterday, but there wasn’t much. All the while I had to pretend Avery wasn’t sitting a few feet from me because otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to concentrate, but that’s neither here nor there. I failed at that part anyway.
“And you’re the business side?” I guess, leaning back in my seat while the restaurant buzzes with activity around us. Tired though I am, this part of the conversation is quickly helping me settle into more of a norm. This is the kind of thing I can do in my sleep.
“I take Avery’s vision and make it functional,” Eric says, a hint of pride in his voice. “She has these huge dreams, which is great, but I make sure they’re within the scope of our capability.”
Eric said he and Avery care more about the company than their relationship, and I’m starting to see why. They seem to balance well, their opposing viewpoints leading to a middleground that works. It’s good for me to know as I go into this consultation, especially with my history with both of them. I’ve known Eric far longer, but I see some of myself in Avery. I can straddle these lines and help their company thrive, assuming I don’t get distracted by thoughts of tiramisu.
My next question is one I’ll have to ask Avery too, but I’m more curious about Eric’s answer. “Why publishing?”
Eric chuckles, relaxing in his seat like I have, but his smile has shifted to something I don’t think I’ve seen from him before. In a way, it reminds me of the way Riccardo looked in Florence whenever he was next to Siena, and it makes me queasy. Does he still have feelings for Avery? “Because Avery made me fall in love with it,” he says, almost dreamily. “I was mostly a nonfiction kind of guy, but a friend invited me to a book club about six years ago. They were reading a fantasy, which wasn’t really my thing, but I decided to go and meet some new people. And there she was. She convinced me to fall in love with reading because she made it look so…freeing. You know?”
I can imagine the moment. Eric, reluctant to try new things, stepping into a room and feeling out of his element. His gaze probably caught on Avery as soon as he walked through the door, and I’d bet she was talking to someone about the book, her eyes bright and her whole face lit up by her enthusiasm. If there were any other single guys at that book club, they would have seen the same thing Eric did, but he was the first one to make the move. Or the one who said the right thing. The one who won the jackpot.
What would I have said if I were there? Would she have seen me if I wasn’t the only option she had? If I didn’t have the romantic atmosphere of Florence on my side, would she have given me the time of day? Am I the kind of guy Avery wouldwantto date?
Not likely. Not unless I were able to offer her more than casual, which I never will.
“But enough work talk,” Eric says, pulling me out of my thoughts. “I want to hear more about you! It’s been so long since we talked that there’s this massive gap of time I know nothing about. You’ve built up this whole marketing consultant gig and made yourself a bigshot, and I’m surprised you’ve stuck with it this long.”
“So am I,” I admit, letting out a tired laugh. “I think it helps that every company is different. And it’s more than marketing. It’s kind of everything.”
“You get the thrill of something new and the satisfaction of success, and you get to start all over again on the next one.”
“Sounds perfect for me, doesn’t it?”
He laughs. “How long are you going to stick with it?”
I don’t think he means it as an insult, but it still feels like a slap. Yeah, I know I’ve struggled with committing to things my entire life, but I’ve been doing this for a decade. “I’m actually working on getting some bigger clients to help me scale up and start a whole firm,” I say, doing my best to keep frustration out of my voice. “Bring on some more consultants and give myself a little flexibility.”
Though his eyebrows rise high, like he thought for sure I’d be finding something new soon, he smiles. “Like your dad did with his law firm?”
Thank goodness for the waiter arriving with our check so I don’t have to respond to that question.
