Page 96 of The Fear of Falling
Chuckling, he tucks my hair behind my ear, then grabs my suitcase to load it into the trunk. “I was only in Arizona for three weeks.”
“It was way too long.” I shouldn’t complain. Benson started working with Phillip Rogers six months ago and has been able to spend most of his time in Utah since switching careers. I got used to him being away while he finished up with his contractedconsultant jobs before the switch, but I was spoiled these last few months, having him around.
Benson kisses me again, then opens the cab door, sliding in after me and telling the driver he can head to our hotel. “How was your flight?” He laces our hands together, lifting them to his lips and looking at me like his world is complete now that we’re next to each other again. I will never get tired of that look.
I drop my head on his shoulder. “Terrible. How are you here? I thought your flight was coming in tonight.”
“Phillip got sick of my moping and put me on an earlier flight so I could make sure you got to the hotel safely.”
“Really?” I can’t tell if he’s being serious or teasing me, but I don’t care. He’s here, we’re together, and Florence awaits. “Do you really think I’m not capable of traveling by myself?”
He bursts into hearty laughter and then kisses me like a man starved. “I know you’re fully capable of anything you want to do,” he says against my mouth. “But I know how these Italian men can be, and you are far too much of a temptation for them to resist.”
He settles back in his seat then, closing his eyes and leaning his head on the back of the seat. He looks so content, like everything in his life is perfect now that we’re together again.
I know how he feels. This last year has been hard in a lot of ways, and the first time I had to say goodbye to him before he flew out of Utah for his next consulting job left me a complete mess. Dani, Lucy, and Poppy had to spend the whole weekend with me to keep me distracted so I wouldn’t cry non-stop. But Benson called me every day and sent me constant texts to tell me he was thinking about me, and he flew back the following Friday to spend the weekend with me.
That’s one of the things I’ve come to love most about Benson. No matter how many times he leaves, he always comes back.
I lift his hand and kiss his knuckles, drawing a smile out of him.
“I missed you,” he whispers, brushing my cheek with his other hand. He’s about to kiss me when the Duomo comes into view, and I shove him away, leaning into the window to get the best view as he laughs. “I see how it is,” he mutters and squeezes my hand.
“You’re pretty,” I say, “but not as pretty as this cathedral.”
“What every man wants to hear.”
Waiting until the Duomo is out of sight, I kiss Benson’s cheek and run my fingers through his hair. “You know I love you, right?”
He takes a deep breath, as if trying to inhale my words and hold them in his lungs. “I know. I love you too.” He kisses me gently, and a thoughtful look crosses his face when he pulls away. He doesn’t explain, instead tucking me under his arm and spending the rest of the drive to the hotel holding me in silence.
We barely make it into the lobby when an excited male voice shouts, “Bens! You made it!” Riccardo looks much the same as he did last year, except today he has a tiny baby strapped to his chest. He pulls Benson into an enthusiastic (and thankfully careful) hug, doing the same with me even though we’ve only spoken once or twice over the phone since his wedding. “I thought for sure you were going to be too busy to come.”
“And miss you christening your daughter?” Benson chuckles and gently touches the sleeping baby’s head. “Never.”
“Do you want to hold her?”
When I watched Benson hold Kimball’s newest baby for the first time several months ago, I almost fell apart. He was so unsure of himself, afraid of hurting him or doing something wrong. But as he takes Riccardo’s baby in his arms and smiles down at her, there’s a new confidence in him. And he has neverbeen more attractive. I snap a picture, grinning when Benson gives me a knowing look.
I haven’t been subtle about wanting to move our relationship forward, and he hasn’t been subtle about letting me know that things will change when the timing is right. As it turns out, I’m not nearly as patient as I would like to be and am eager to get to the white dress and domesticity and babies he keeps hinting at, but Benson is the one who has been slowly adapting his life to fit mine. If I can be in a relationship with a guy for six years without it going anywhere, I can wait however long it takes for the true love of my life to be ready for a major commitment.
Having Benson in my life for the last year has been the best thing to ever happen to me, and we have both come out stronger from navigating all of this.
The baby starts crying, and Riccardo takes her back, smiling down at his tiny daughter. “I’m glad you’re here,” he tells Benson as he tucks the baby against his chest. “But I should get this little lady back to her mama.” He narrows his eyes. “You booked a room this time, right?”
Benson laughs and brushes the baby’s head once more. “Don’t worry. I’ve been planning this trip for a while.” The smile he gives me makes me melt into the floor.
We may be here for the christening, but I’m pretty sure Benson has other plans as well.
“Is there anything better than Florence at sunset?” I ask and lean into Benson’s chest behind me.
He tucks his arms around me, chin resting on my head. “I can think of a few things, but this is pretty great.”
After taking a power nap and showering, we’ve been wandering the streets of Florence mostly in silence. I think we’re both glad to have a break, and I’ve been enjoying my time with Benson. We have a whole week with no work to distract us, and I plan to take advantage of this time. Even if that means simply standing in front of the Duomo as it’s bathed in golden sunlight. The cathedral is as beautiful as it was the last time I was here. Maybe even more so.
The last time I stood in this spot, Benson ran away from me.
Hooking my hands on his arms, I tilt my head up to try to see his face, though I mostly just see his scruffy jaw. “You’re not going to run away from me as soon as the bells start ringing, are you?”
