Page 91 of The Fear of Falling
A curse slips from my tongue along with the last of my resolve, and I grab her, pulling her mouth back to mine so I can resume what she started.
Kissing her here is so much better than it was in Italy, when in the back of my mind I knew it wouldn’t last. But now? Now I can’t get enough of her, and I tug her against my body, determined to keep her as close as I can. Her hands roam my chest, my shoulders, my jaw, and I tangle my fingers up in her auburn hair and kiss her like my life depends on it.
I still don’t know how we’re going to make this work, but I don’t care.
For the first time in my life, I refuse to give up just because something is hard.
I’m not going anywhere.
Chapter 31
Avery
“Ilearnedsomuchthat my head is still swimming. Oh, and the people I met! I wish you could have been there, Avie.”
I should be annoyed by Eric’s non-stop chatter when he talks as though I was the one who chose not to go to the conference, but I’m not annoyed. In fact, it’s nice to see him excited about something. I hadn’t noticed until he showed up to the office this morning with a giant grin on his face, but Eric was as lost and miserable as I was after the breakup.
“I can’t wait to go through your notes,” I say, expecting him to go back to his office because he’s not one for dilly-dallying. I need to tell him about the social media manager I hired—she’s showing up here soon—but I’m finding it difficult to dim his good mood and was hoping for the excuse of him being too busy to warn him.
But Eric remains in my doorway, his eyes darting to the empty desk next to mine. “Where’s Sonny this morning?”
I bite the inside of my lips to keep from smiling. “He had something to take care of this morning, but he’ll be in soon. He didn’t give me details.”
While that may be true, I know exactly why Benson isn’t here yet. After McKay declared my transmission toast and we took my car to a mechanic Saturday afternoon, Benson spent the rest of the day with me at my apartment. Then he spent all day with me on Sunday. And after sleeping on my couch last night because he stayed too late, he dropped me off at the office before heading to his hotel to shower and change.
We didn’t come to the office together because we agreed we need to ease Eric into our tentative relationship, as much for our own sakes as for his. Benson is still dealing with the guilt of betraying a friend, and I need to make sure my personal relationship with Benson won’t hurt my working relationship with Eric. Neither of us knows how this is going to work, so we figured we should keep things on the down low until we’re a little more…sure.
I’m choosing to be cautiously optimistic, but I haven’t asked Benson about what’s going to happen when his time at R&Q is up. I’m worried he’s not going to have an answer, so instead of dwelling on the uncertain future, I’m living in the moment.
Taking things one minute at a time.
Eric is still standing in my doorway, a thoughtful look on his face, so I search for some topic of conversation before things turn awkward. “I never did get an email from that agent, by the way.” Not that I care, since an agent would only get in the way of the workshop idea that Benson and I came up with, but it’s an innocent enough topic.
For some reason, Eric blushes a deep shade of red. “Right. Well, it turns out she had some free time, so she decided to take a trip here to Utah to check out our office and meet you in person.”
My eyebrows jump up as I take a sip of my coffee. “Oh. Cool, I guess? Though, I don’t know how many more books we can take on until we stabilize, so I don’t know if we can—”
“She doesn’t care if it takes a bit before we can collaborate,” Eric said, waving his hand. “Publishing is a long game, right?”
“Right.” But I feel like I’m missing something.
“She’s, uh…” He coughs. “She’s coming today.”
Choking, I nearly dump my coffee on my keyboard and scramble to set the cup down on the desk. “Today?” I gasp. “But—”
“Oh Benson, you shouldn’t have!” Lynda’s voice carries from the lobby, sending my heart skittering even more as my full focus shifts in that direction. Toward Benson.
It’s only been two hours since I saw the guy, and I shouldn’t be this excited. Still, I follow a curious Eric out to the lobby, where Lynda is smelling a vibrant wildflower bouquet and Benson is looking entirely scrumptious in a white button-up and khakis.
“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Benson tells Lynda and kisses her cheek. Then his smile turns to me, heating me from the inside out as my mind gets lost in memories of the weekend. “Good morning, R&Q! Eric, good to have you back.”
“You were sick?” Eric asks his mom, still red in the face. “You should have told me.”
“You were out of town, and it was only a little head cold. Avery and Benson had things handled here.” She winks at me, and I have to hold back a giggle. I don’t know how she knows that something happened between Benson and me, but she knows. I wouldn’t be surprised if the ghosts of Benson’s kisses are tattooed on my skin.
Benson plucks a deep scarlet cosmos from the bouquet and hands it to me. “Morning,” he says, his voice so gentle that it makes me shiver.
I have no idea if I ever mentioned my favorite flower to him over the weeks I’ve known him, but I love how well he knows me. After this weekend, it feels like we’ve known each other forever. Benson the flirt was fun, but Benson the man who’s all in? Hoo boy, I was not prepared for the way he makes me feel.
