Page 75 of The Fear of Falling
“What if we stay here forever?” Avery asks through a yawn. She curls up against me, and the way she fits so perfectly makes my chest tight.
Yes. Yes. Yes.The word won’t stop repeating in my mind as I try forcing myself to wake up fully. I don’t think anything but a slap in the face will work at this point, but I won’t manage that until I no longer have a deeply beautiful woman in my arms. “Ave, we can’t sleep in a chair.”
“I can. I did it last week.”
I snicker. “I’m a bit bigger than you.”
“I know. You have all these muscles that make even my sister drool over you.”
A laugh chokes out of me. “Excuse me?”
“Yeah.” She starts trailing her fingers over my arm, leaving a line of heat as she goes. “I sent her a picture when you were moving the shelves, and apparently she finds you wildly attractive despite being very much in love with her womanizer.”
Now I really wish I had Dani’s number again so I could tease her about this bit of information. Also, I didn’t realize her new boyfriend was (is?) a womanizer, and that surprises me based on what I know about Dani. More than ever, I want to meet Avery’s sister. Not only does she seem pretty cool, but I’d be curious to get my own impression of Mason to make sure he’s good enough for her.
Whoa. That feels like the kind of thing a brother would do, not a guy who has never met Dani in person.Don’t get in too deep, Bens.
“Taking secret pictures of me?” I ask, wrapping Avery up more securely as if that might stave off the panic that is slowly building in my chest. “That’s definitely crossing a professional boundary.”
“You don’t care about professional boundaries.”
I do, but I can’t argue her point when I’m currently snuggled up with her in a giant armchair in her house. “I’ve never been good about following the rules,” I say instead, kissing the top of her head. “Drove my mom crazy.”
That was the wrong thing to say. Avery tilts her head up, staring at me with wide eyes. “Is that why you don’t like talking about your family?” she asks in the gentlest voice, like she finally understands something crucial. “Because you were a problem child?”
I wince, but she isn’t wrong. “Not a great way to put that, but…that’s some of it. I had a knack for getting into trouble.”
“I already knew that about you after all the stories Eric told about your time in college.”
“What you don’t know is my older brothers are basically perfect.”
“Nobody’s perfect.”
I should drop the subject, but the words spill out of my mouth like Avery cracked the dam and now things are falling apart, letting loose all the things I don’t want her to know. “Kimball and McKay are perfect. Kimball became a lawyer, like my dad, and even works at the same firm, and he always had top grades in school. He married his high school sweetheart, has a house with a literal white picket fence, and sends out Christmas cards every year with his whole family in matching outfits.
“And McKay?” I scoff. “He’s a mechanical engineer who builds airplanes and has angels for children because his wife is a perfect stay-at-home mom who has mastered gentle parenting. He does ultra marathons and climbs mountains in his free time, and Idon’t think he’s ever once broken a law. Not even jaywalking. So yeah, they’re perfect, and I’m… Nothing like them. I never have been. I was the kid always getting sent to the principal’s office and caught causing mayhem around the neighborhood. It was a miracle that I gotacceptedto college because my grades were terrible, no matter how hard I tried, and I’m convinced I graduated by sheer luck.”
I finally shut my mouth, hating the taste of the words I just spoke. This is exactly why I need to take on the Australian company. This could be my best chance to finally be…enough.
“Hey.” Avery sits up, adjusting herself so she’s straddling my legs and using her palm to nudge my face down to meet her eyes. “Do you remember what I said to you that day we met at the office?”
She could be referencing any number of things, but I know what she’s talking about because it’s been sitting at the back of my mind for a week and a half now. “You called me perfect,” I mumble.
“Chocolate preferences aside, I’ve thought that about you since the moment I met you, Benson.” She brushes her fingers through my hair, sending a shiver down my spine.
“Now you know why you were wrong,” I say and attempt a smile.
But she shakes her head. “Nope. The more I know, the more I like. Maybe you’re not like your brothers, but that doesn’t make you any less wonderful.”
Does she have any idea what her words are doing to me? Taking hold of the hand pressed to my face, I touch a gentle kiss to her palm. She’s incredible, but she doesn’t know there’s a good chance I’m going to leave in a few days. “I need to tell you about a phone call I had yesterday,” I say before fear holds me back.
She smiles, shaking her head and giving me a soft look that warms me to the core. “Tell me later. You should get some real sleep. We still have to work today.”
Taking the out like the coward I am, I lift her off my lap, hating the absence of her touch as soon as we’re both on our feet. The walk to the door is nearly impossible. It feels like when I left her at her hotel room that last night in Italy, and I wish that goodbye had been the end. That way I wouldn’t be losing my heart to her now.
But Avery is working hard to break through my shields, and I’m not sure I have much energy left to fight her.
“Goodnight, Avery Grace,” I tell her at her door, aching to kiss her but knowing I’ll never leave if I do.
