Page 65 of The Fear of Falling
“You shouldn’t be driving while on the phone,” Benson says, a bit of growl in his voice now. “Yeah, I know what your imagination is telling you, but it’s not true. Promise. Then maybe you should have brought her with you.” He hangs up and swears under his breath, his head bowed and a hand gripping the back of his neck.
“That sounded fun,” I say bitterly.
“Why is he being like this?” Benson asks without looking at me.
I’m pretty sure it’s a rhetorical question, but I answer anyway. “Because he likes when things go his way.”
“That’s not how life works.”
“Says the guy who has everything he wants.”
He finally turns his gaze to me, eyes piercing me with their intensity and leaving me feeling both chilled and overheated. “Not everything,” he mutters.
My breath catches in my throat. It doesn’t have to be this way. He doesn’t have to keep his distance, and we can figure out a way to—
“I promised,” he says with a shake of his head, as if he was reading my thoughts. “I can’t ruin this friendship.”
“He’s not being a very good friend,” I argue. Especially if Eric is interfering with Benson’s happiness just because he didn’t get the girl in the end.Ericwas the one who said we should split up. He doesn’t get a say in my relationships anymore, and he certainly shouldn’t get a say in Benson’s.
Benson clenches his jaw as he slips his phone back into his pocket. “Maybe not,” he agrees. “But he’s one of the few friendsI’ve got. He’s…” He shakes his head, nothing but pain in his expression. “He’s family, Avery. I can’t lose…”
My heart aches as I stand here, almost close enough to touch this man but not quite. It’s as much an ache for Benson as it is for myself. Heislonely. He can say all he wants that he loves his job and loves being on the road all the time, but I’m nearly certain he is desperate for a place to truly call home.
“We should go back to the office,” Benson says with a heavy sigh, and I reluctantly agree.
There’s no point in trying to push Benson to open up. Not right after he promised to keep his distance from me. Besides, I need to mentally prepare myself for a visit from Poppy, which is not for the faint of heart.
Chapter 23
Benson
Avery:
Do you want to guess what Poppy brought me to give to Kaden?
Ishouldn’trespond.IfI were smart, I would ignore any non-work texts from Avery and work from the hotel from here on out. There is plenty of desk space for people in my situation, and with Lynda out sick—I checked with her, and she’s going to be out tomorrow too—I shouldn’t be alone in the office with Avery.
Not when it would hurt my friend, who clearly hasn’t moved on the way Avery has.
Though I’m exhausted and should go to sleep, I’m lying wide awake on my bed with nothing to do but sit with my thoughts, which is never a good idea. I should go for a run in the hotel gym.Lift some weights until I feel like my arms might fall off. Swim a few hundred laps in the pool until I’m pruney and wiped out.
Instead I text Avery.
Benson:
I’m afraid to ask. Tarot cards? Essential oils? Chakra balancing singing bowl?
Avery:
What is a singing bowl?
Benson:
No idea. Google told me about it. What’s in the present?
Avery:
I don’t actually know. Poppy won’t let me open it.
