Page 36 of The Fear of Falling
I’m calling bulls
Sorry, Mason walked in and distracted me before I finished that text. You catch my drift.
Before I can form a response, a message comes through on my computer.
Lynda:
Could you stop by my desk for a second?
I am more than grateful for the interruption. More likely than not, Lynda wants to catch up and see how I’m doing now that I’m back from my trip. Grabbing my coffee in case this turns into a long chat, I avoid looking at Benson as I head into the hall, though I can feel his eyes on me.
This is going to be the worst month of my life.
“Rough morning?” Lynda asks as I approach her desk. Her smile is warm and familiar, and I’m gladder than ever that she agreed to work with us. She is always a bright spot in my day.
I flop into the chair she keeps next to her own and sigh. “How could you tell?”
“Your shirt is backwards.”
Gasping, I look down and cringe when I realize she’s right. No wonder Eric was giving me that disappointed look. “Jet lag,” I say with a moan. “It wasn’t nearly as bad going the other direction.”
“You must have had something distracting you.” For some reason, she offers that comment with a wink, and I sit up a bit, not sure I like the knowing glint in her eyes. “How was Italy?”
I groan. “You heard everything, didn’t you?” I tend to forget how small this office is and how well the sound carries. It’s why Eric often takes his phone calls outside on the little balcony we share with the next office over. I forgot about Lynda when I was arguing with Benson earlier, and we weren’t exactly quiet.
Her smile turning sympathetic, Lynda pats my arm at the same time she hands me a butterscotch from the bowl on her desk. “Tell me all about it.”
And I do. Keeping my voice low, I give her the rundown of the entire trip, starting on the plane from JFK and ending with my shock this morning. It feels good to get it all out there without anyone throwing in comments about how I should take advantage of the hot guy while I’ve got him. If anyone will understand why this is so complicated, Lynda will.
She was going to be my mother-in-law, after all.
“What am I supposed to do?” I ask, leaning my head on her shoulder and letting her wrap me in a warm hug. Her hugs are second only to my own mom’s. “Am I supposed to forget everything I felt in Florence? I don’t want to hurt Eric, but I also…”
“Oh, sweetie, Eric’s a grown man. He’ll be fine.” She says that, but her voice is full of hesitation.
I lift my head to stare at her. “I’m fully aware that, as his mom, you’re going to be biased. You can say what you mean.”
“I did say what I mean. He made his choice to give you up, and he has to live with that decision. It might hurt him for a bit, but he’ll move on, just like you did.”
Did I move on? Sure, I happily gave up all control to Benson and let him kiss me senseless multiple times, but it was just a fling. I knew it was temporary and I wouldn’t see him again.
But then he showed up. In Utah. To helpmy company.
Sighing, I drop my head back onto Lynda’s shoulder and breathe in her subtly floral scent. She smells a little like the wedding did in Florence, only without the bonus of garlic and bread. “Even if I do feel something,” I mutter, “it’s not like it can go anywhere. He made it pretty clear where he stands.”
“Did he?”
“You heard him.”
“I heard a man who is confused and doesn’t want to hurt his friend again.” Lynda pushes me up again and pierces me with her mom-stare. The one that digs in and makes you feel like you can’t hide anything, no matter how much you want to. “I heard a man who couldn’t deny his attraction to you. I can’t blame him. You’re wonderful, Avery, and he knows it. But,” she pats my cheek, “Benson has always been a lost soul.”
Curious, I glance down the hall to make sure Eric and Benson are both still in their respective offices. “How well do you know him?”
“It’s been a few years since I last saw him, but when the boys were in college, he spent most of his holidays at our house.”
“Where’s his family?”
“Here in Utah.”
