Page 25 of The Fear of Falling
I’m certainly in the moment right now, my head resting on his shoulder and the buzz of conversations around us blending into the music and the sounds of the city. To think I was nervous about coming to the party… I should have known it was stupid to be nervous about anything when it comes to Benson. He really is the perfect man, and he will live on forever as a dream unless I figure out how to make this thing between us last beyond tonight.
“You really have a way with words,” I murmur, feeling sleepy. I’m way too comfy in this spot, and I’m never going to want to leave.
Benson laughs. “Not around you. You make me forget everything I know.”
I highly doubt that. This man was as good as any tour guide this week, with all his random factoids about buildings and statues and bridges. Sometimes I wonder if he doesn’t get into relationships because there’s no space in his head for frivolous things like love.
Or is love strictly a heart thing?
I used to think I understood love, but with the way things ended with Eric, I’m not sure I ever did. We were compatible, but that’s not the same as love. I’ve experienced something totally different with Benson this week than I’ve ever felt with anyone, and I…
Wait. I tense as my thoughts catch up to me. Love? I can’t fall in love with someone in a few days! But I’ve felt so safe and empowered with Benson that I might be well on my way. How could Inotfall for this guy? He has been a dream, the man I didn’t know I needed in my life until he appeared.
I’m not wearing the bracelet Poppy gave me at the airport, but I’ve had it tucked into my purse all week because I keep forgetting it’s there. Maybe it has more power than I’ve ever allowed myself to believe.
Speaking of Poppy, my phone hasn’t stopped buzzing with texts, and I sigh as I think about the mayhem I will be going home to.
“You okay?” Benson asks, pausing our little dance. I don’t know if it’s because I tensed up or because of the sigh, but of course he noticed a change in my demeanor.
If I tell him I might be falling in love with him, I’ll get another heart-to-heart chat by the fountain about boundaries, so I stick to the cousins. “You’ve caused me a lot of trouble, Benson Jay.”
He chuckles and starts swaying again. “Using my middle name against me? I wish I hadn’t told you.”
“You know mine. It was only fair.”
Offering a smile of allowance, he spins me out and back to his arms. “How have I caused you trouble? That’s a pretty serious allegation without any specifics to back it up.”
“You made friends with Dani, who told my cousins about you, and now they won’t leave me alone.”
His gaze drops to my purse, eyes sparkling with interest. “What did she say about me?”
“At this point, I’m afraid to look.”
“What have I told you about fear?” Benson steps away and tugs me to the nearest table, pulling out a chair for me. Once we’re seated, he holds out his hand, silently asking me for my phone.
The thought of Benson having access to my cousins is too intriguing to pass up. I place my phone in his hand and scoot my chair closer, tucking myself against his arm so I can see the screen.
As he scrolls, I see that the girls have been active, throwing out speculations about who Benson is and how I managed to find a man in Italy who can handle my plan-making tendencies. Jokes on them. Benson silenced that part of me almost instantly. At one point, Lucy decided Benson is a world-weary and mysterious artist with a tragic past, and I groan when I read Dani’s assessment of him.
Dani:
He’s the second hottest guy in the world! (Mason is obviously the first). Also, he’s capable of having a conversation that isn’t about himself, his advanceddegree, his extensive collection of tube socks… In short, he’s the opposite of The Great Letdown, and I like him!
“Seriously, what have you two been talking about?” I wish he had kept my phone instead of using his to talk to Dani so I could go back and figure out what they’ve been saying without needing to interrogate my sister when I get home.
Benson’s grin turns mischievous. “I need to havesomesecrets, Ave.”
Oh, that nickname is a bad idea. Or maybe a great one. Nicknames are a step we haven’t taken this week, which makes this moment feel all the more intimate. I try to keep my focus on the text and not the way my name on Benson’s lips sounds like how chocolate gelato tastes.
“You have kept plenty of secrets from me,” I say, “and you know it. Obviously you’ve been talking about my ex.”
“He sounds like a tool.”
“Dani has probably made him sound worse than he is.”
“He let you go, so he’s a tool regardless.”
Heat flooding my face, I press my cheek against his shoulder and watch as he starts typing.
