Page 15 of The Fear of Falling
If I’mreallybeing honest, it confuses me too. I’m no stranger to week-long flings, but usually it’s with someone asnoncommittal as me. Based on the fact that this woman recently got out of a six-year relationship, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that she is reluctant to try something casual and temporary. What does come as a surprise is how much I’m still drawn to her.
Usually I run from her type.
But I’m helping her. She might not know that, but I’m trying to get her to come out of her shell and embrace the person she said she used to be. We’re only here for a week, so it’s not like I’m putting down roots, and this will be good for her and a challenge for me. We both win.
“What do you like about it?” I ask, doing my best to stay subtle as I breathe in her peach shampoo. I’ve asked the same question any time we’ve stopped, which has been often because Avery finds something interesting just about everywhere, from bridges to storefronts to massive Franciscan churches.
I may not know anything abouther, but I’m learning what brings a smile to her face.
“I’m amazed that people can build something like this by hand,” she says without hesitation. She’s getting better at not holding back her responses, which is wildly attractive. There are few things sexier than confidence. “Like, so many places use one color, but everything around here is so vivid and symmetrical and unreal. How did they build something like this?”
“If you had been listening to the tour guide, you wouldn’t have to ask that question.”
The glare she throws at me makes me burst into laughter and garner a few additional glares from the people at the back of the tour group. “If you weren’t such a distraction,” she hisses, “maybe I would have been able to catch some of the history!”
“Ah, but that’s one of my best talents.” Unable to resist any longer, I run the loose strand of her hair between my fingers, then brush my knuckles along the back of her neck, enjoying the way goosebumps pebble on her skin. “I should have warnedyou that this adventure with me would include a whole lot of distraction.”
She throws her elbow into my side. “Benson Whatever-your-last-name-is, you are the biggest flirt I’ve ever met!”
She doesn’t remember my last name from when I said it to the receptionist at the hotel? For some reason, that bit of anonymity sends a thrill through me. At this point, she doesn’t know anything about me—not my job, where I’m from, why I’m here. AndIdon’t know anything abouther. It’s a fun game of mystery that I don’t usually get to play because most of the women I meet are connected to whatever project I’m working on, so I tend to knowtoo much.
“I have an idea,” I say, choosing not to address her flirt comment. “You say you’re not a week-long fling kind of woman, but what if you were?”
She tenses, shifting so I’m no longer touching her. “What are you proposing? I’m not going to sleep with you.”
My eyebrows shoot up. I’m both surprised by her assumption and concerned that I’ve given her that impression. I’m flirty, but I don’t go around diving into bed with every woman I meet. That sort of thing makes relationships too messy, and I don’t need messy in my life. “Definitely not proposing that. Contrary to movies and stereotypes, not every man is out for sex. I’m not opposed to a kiss or two…” I cannot stress enough how not opposed to that I am, and my eyes slide to her lips as if I need to make myself extra clear. “But what I’m suggesting is you and I let things go where they go this week and keep the pressure off it all.”
She narrows her eyes. “How?”
“I don’t know you.” I gesture toward her, then press my hand to my chest. “You don’t know me. What if we keep it that way?”
“What would be the point of that? Some non-committal make-outs and that’s it?”
She is seriously underestimating the fun of a good make-out. Still, I scoff and shake my head in mock offense. “Avery, it could be so much more than that.”
“Without getting to know each other? I doubt that. Conversation is the heart of any connection.”
“We’ve been talking for hours today,” I point out, “but neither of us has given any details. That’s what I’m proposing. We can get to know each other, but we’ll keep the essentials out of it. Last names, occupations, where we live. Let’s just…” How do I explain it? I’m not doing a great job of it so far because she’s still staring at me with her eyebrows low and her shoulders tensed up. “Let’s be ourselves. Not what the world has made us become.”
How this is supposed to help me keep emotional distance, I have no idea, but I would be an idiot to miss this chance to spend as much time with this woman as I can.
Glancing at the basilica, Avery wraps her fingers around the strap of her purse and seems to be thinking through my suggestion. She hasn’t shut me down yet, but her skepticism is in full force on her face. “Don’t you have places to be this week, like I do?”
Just the wedding of a good friend to whom I owe a lot of my success. But that isn’t until Friday, and I’m sure he’ll understand if I skip out on a few wedding things. He didn’t think I was showing up in the first place, so it’s not like he planned on me.
“Nowhere important,” I lie, and guilt worms its way into my gut. I shouldn’t have made the decision to work on strengthening my relationships when all it takes to turn my attention elsewhere is a kind smile and a pair of warm brown eyes. Notbrown. In the sunlight, like now, they’re a golden amber with the smallest ring of green on the outer edge.
Dang, she’s beautiful.
Avery lifts her eyebrows. “Not even with your friend? Isn’t he the reason you’re here?”
Not wanting to lie again, I nod, but I’m hesitant to tell her the reason Riccardo is here in the first place. I don’t need her unleashing the waterworks again. “He’s, uh, getting married on Friday.”
“Benson!” She whacks my arm with impressive force, angry rather than sad. “You call that unimportant?”
“Compared to spending a week with you? Sure.”
She rolls her eyes. “You’re ridiculous. I’m not going to be the reason you miss your friend’s wedding, even if I want…” Blushing scarlet, she trails off and watches a family who stop to take a selfie in front of the church.
