Page 112 of The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
‘Did you still want to come with me to see Gramps?’ Beckett asked as we headed home after helping clear up, stomachs almost as full as our hearts.
‘Yes. Absolutely.’
‘You don’t sound very sure.’
‘I just… I don’t want to give him the wrong impression.’
Beckett gave me a sharp glance as he stopped at the last set of traffic lights before leaving Nottingham. ‘Which is what? I thought I made my feelings about that very clear.’
‘Well. Yes. But feelings are one thing. You haven’t actually asked me anything… specific.’
He drove for a minute in silence, while the insecure, never good enough, unimpressive part of me wondered again whether I’d pushed things too far, even as the new, improved Mary had no doubts about the man sitting beside me, and where I stood with him.
‘Are you asking me to ask you to be my girlfriend?’
‘I’d really prefer not to have to ask you to ask.’
He did a sudden sharp turn, pulling into a track by the side of the road and bumping along for about twenty metres until coming to a stop surrounded by woodland. Turning off the engine, he got out of the car, strode around to the passenger side and opened my door.
‘Come on.’
‘Is this where you finally murder me and leave me in the woods?’
He gave a frustrated-crossed-with-amused eyeroll, then took my hand and pulled me out.
After staring at me for a few seconds, he dropped to one knee.
‘Beckett! Stop! What are you doing?’
‘Mary.’
‘No. This is not the time for a proposal. Please don’t make me have to turn you down.’
‘It’s not a proposal. Although I mean it just as much, so it might as well be. But it isn’t! You wanted a formal ask, so this is me showing you I mean it. Mary Whittington, will you be my proper, monogamous, committed, romantic, in-love-with-me girlfriend?’
I took in a deep breath. Thought about Bob. About Leo. Shay and Kieran and the life I’d lost, and the one I now wanted more than anything. The one where every day I got to share it with Beckett Bywater.
Still, I had to ask.
‘Are you sure? Because I can’t take another broken heart just yet.’
‘Are you sure? I’m never going to offer you grand gestures, wild adventures, everything Leo gave you. I’m really a very boring man. With an elderly, grumpy Gramps as baggage.’
‘Then I love boring. I don’t want all that faff and forced fun. I never did. But are you sure? Talk about baggage. I’m a woman with a baby, a dead husband, no job and a whole load of family issues. I’m honestly still quite a wreck.’
‘I love your baby. As if he were my own.’ Beckett stood up, pressing his forehead against mine, his voice dropping. ‘One day, I would love to call him my son.’
‘Shucks, Beckett.’ I had to pull back to wipe my face. ‘Asking someone to be your girlfriend shouldn’t be this emotional.’
‘Let’s try again, then. Hey, Mary, do you fancy being my girlfriend? No pressure or anything.’
‘Go on, then.’ I laughed through my tears. ‘I’ve no better offers right now, so might as well give it a go.’
Given the rule about children, Gramps was allowed to be pushed in a wheelchair to the café for a mince pie and a cup of tea, but wasn’t well enough to linger for much longer than the time needed to give us a present. He had somehow got someone to buy us theatre tickets for the spring, offering to keep Bob company while we enjoyed a night out alone.
‘You think they’d allow you out of a care home to do babysitting?’ Beckett asked.
Gramps looked affronted. ‘You’re finding me a retirement home, not shipping me off to prison.’
Making a mental note to ask Sofia or Li if they’d be free on that date, I gave him the super-warm coat I’d bought, with a promise to take him out in it often, and then Beckett and Gramps discussed the future plans to find him somewhere ‘not full of morons or zombies’ to live, until Gramps told us to wheel him back to the ward and leave him in blessed peace.
We drove back to my cottage as the sun set behind the oak trees, the Christmas stars already twinkling above our heads. I had no idea what the new year would hold for me. This time last year I was founding director of a brilliant company, living in Sheffield and zipping between business meetings and trips abroad with my brand-new husband. Now, here I was. A mother, living in a ramshackle cottage in the middle of a forest. I had new friends, new hopes and dreams starting to emerge. A boyfriend who I felt completely myself with.
For the first time, I genuinely knew who that was. Curled up on my shabby sofa with Beckett as he cuddled Bob, the fire crackling, an extra-gooey pizza in the oven, I wouldn’t have chosen to be anyone else.
