Page 158 of Texting, Trouble & Touchdowns
Then exhale again—less yoga, more like stepping into a chamber filled with stinking corpse lilies and titan arums.
Lucian said I scare him.
Said I came in and flipped his life upside down like I’m some charming natural disaster.
And then—then—he said he wanted to try. Emotionally. With me. As if I haven’t been emotionally ducking commitment sinceI was old enough to understand that vows don’t mean shit if no one stays to keep them.
My stomach twists, tight and nauseating.
I stare up at the stars like they owe me answers.
Sarah trots out a second later—somehow having figured out the patio handle like she’s a sassy Lassie—and settles beside the couch with a little huff.
“Wow, so the escape rumors are true.” My voice comes out flatly. “Great. I love that for you, we need to work on not heading to the stables, girly. But I’m not emotionally available for codependence right now.”
She whines, resting her chin on the cushion, and lets out a long sigh as if we’re in this existential crisis together.
I don’t deserve her.
I don’t deserve anyone.
Especially not Lucian Crawford, who just told me he wanted me—really wanted me—without saying “I love you,” but somehow still managed to make it sound like a fucking marriage proposal.
What am I supposed to do with that?
Be brave?
Open my heart like it hasn’t been duct-taped shut since college?
Risk everything on someone who sees me as the best thing that ever happened to him, even when I’m concealing my true self behind sarcasm and ancient trauma?
I grab my phone.
I need backup.
I need someone who knows every horrible part of me and still picks up anyway.
I call my sister.
Aspen picks up on the second ring.
“Well, well, well,” she says. “Look who finally decided to call me after cowardly ghosting everyone for a whole week. I needed a name and you coward couldn’t face the truth.”
“What do you mean?” I ask hoping she doesn’t know about Lucian and me.
“Hailey just called.” Her tone becomes overly smug. “Apparently, my sister—My. Sister. Are you hearing this? I had to learn from someone else that you are the one who moved in with Lucian Crawford. And are sleeping with him.”
My jaw opens. Then closes. Then opens again, like a goldfish mid-breakdown. “How did she?—?”
“What happened?” Aspen interrupts, switching tones like a pro. “You don’t sound okay. Are you okay? If he hurt you?—”
“I think I broke him,” I whisper. “I think I broke a man who actually cares about me.”
“Oh,” she utters.
One simple word.
Because she gets it.
