Page 37 of Hate the One You're With
She-Devil: Probably Percy, the lawyer. He said he’d make sure everything was set the way my grandmother wanted.
Satan: Fucker. What are we supposed to do now?
She-Devil: Check the will to see if this is legal.
Satan: We can move to my place in San Diego . . . that should cut it, right?
She-Devil: Doubtful, but we can try.
Satan: You’re not going to fight me? I recall you didn’t want to leave New York.
She-Devil: I didn’t want to leave Grandma, it was a difficult time for her—or so I thought. I’m willing to move hoping your place has more than one room and we can just ignore each other for six months.
Satan: Nope, only one room, but you can sleep on the couch.
She-Devil: What, you’re not going to offer me the bed?
Satan: Nope. You should be thankful I’m kind enough to bring you with me.
She-Devil: Like Percy would allow you to leave me behind.
Satan: Okay, here is the plan. I destroy this place and we’ll have to go somewhere else.
She-Devil: Where?
Satan: I’m sure we can find a livable apartment. Can you trust me?
She-Devil: Nope.
Satan: Wehave to work together.
She-Devil: How do I know this isn’t a trick?
Satan: It’s not. I really don’t want to live here.
She-Devil: What is wrong with it?
Satan: Other than your grandmother’s bad vibes? The doors are sealed, and I just found two cameras . . . Are they expecting to watch us?
She-Devil: I hope not, that’d be creepy. Send me pictures of the cameras. Maybe they were always there and I’ve never noticed them.
Satan: I’ll keep looking around and see what else I find. My lawyer says we have to live here no matter what.
She-Devil: I saw the pictures and those cameras are new.
Satan: Okay, I’m calling my team. They want war . . . we’ll give them one. All the doors will be gone by the time you’re here. The cameras will feed to a porn channel. They want to see something. I’ll make sure they see what I want them to see.
She-Devil: Huh, I never thought we’d agree on something. Please let me know if I can help.
Satan: I will. See you later today.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Caleb
As I’m aboutto walk through the penthouse, trying to figure out what else we can do to make the place feel less like Gertrude’s domain and more like our own, I hear the soft chime of the elevator, signaling someone’s arrival. My head turns instinctively toward the foyer, and I spot a man stepping out.
“Can I help you?” I ask, my voicefirm but polite, while a flicker of concern runs through my mind. I wonder if it’s time to tighten up security, maybe bring one or two of my guys to keep an eye on things—especially on Em.
