Page 45 of Knot Really Engaged
I force a smile, trying to ignore the guilt that gnaws at my stomach. If only they knew the truth—that this engagement is nothing more than a carefully crafted lie. I swallow hard, pushing down the rising tide of emotions that threatens to overwhelm me.
Liam’s grandmother takes my hands in hers, her eyes shining with joy. “Audrey, dear, you look radiant,” she says, her voice filled with genuine affection. “I always knew you two would find your way to each other.”
How is it that everyone thinks they always knew something when it’s all a lie? And maybe that’s the thing about life. At some point or another, everyone wants to believe just for the sake of believing while ignoring the truth.
My throat constricts with overwhelming emotion as I force out a strained, “Thank you.” My voice quivers and barely reaches above a whisper. “We’re very happy,” I add, my words dripping with sincerity, “and in love.”
“I’m the luckiest man alive for having her by my side,” Liam proclaims, his eyes brimming with adoration.
As we help load their bags into the car, I can’t shake the feeling of unease that settles over me. What we said was just to convince them, right? I’m not in love and Liam isn’t lucky. We’re just pretending.
There’s no way I can answer that or discuss it with Liam, so I try focusing instead on the warmth of his hand in mine.
Monday morning, everything will be over.
Over.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Liam
“Shall we?”I offer my arm, and Audrey takes it with a flourish, her own shield raised high. We march out to the backyard, where chairs are lined up next to bright flowers.
Audrey’s mom is there, resplendent in a dress that sparkles under the sun, and Steven McCallister is beaming like he’s won thelottery. This doesn’t look like an anniversary celebration or a vow renewal, but a wedding where he’s about to say I do to the love of his life.
As they stand there, about to exchange vows, I can’t help but feel a pang of envy. After forty years together, they still look at each other with such love and devotion.
“Isn’t it romantic?” Audrey whispers, her voice full of emotion.
I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. It is romantic, and as much as this whole fake engagement thing started as a scheme, right now, my feelings for Audrey are anything but simple.
Being beside her, feeling the warmth of her presence has become almost essential. She has woven herself into the very fabric of my existence, as vital as the air that fills my lungs. She ignites something within me, a sensation so profound and bewildering, it’s as though I’m shattering into countless fragments.
Audrey McCallister makes me feel like . . . Like I’m breaking into a million pieces and each one of them is more alive when she’s around. It’s something I can’t understand. An enigma, defying comprehension, yet it’s undeniably real and powerful.
The emotions she stirs in me refuse to be tamed, a constant surge of feeling that keeps metethered to the moment, to her. It’s bewildering, this capacity she has to make me feel so utterly alive, to turn even the simplest touch or glance into a catalyst for something much greater.
I can’t escape it, this sense of being utterly consumed by her presence, nor do I wish to. Audrey has become my axis, the point around which all my emotions orbit, drawing me ever closer to her. It’s as if I’m standing on the edge of a precipice, teetering between the person I was and the one she’s helping me become. And in this dizzying space between, I find myself embracing the fall, eager for the transformation, for the chance to be reborn in her light.
This unyielding pull toward her, it’s reshaping my understanding of happiness, of connection. With Audrey, happiness isn’t just an emotion; it’s a state of being, a place I’ve found within her. Surrounded by the intensity of these feelings for Audrey, a shadow creeps into the corners of my heart, a persistent whisper of fear.
A fear of being loved and breaking the one I love.
How can I hold onto this happiness, this deep connection, when the very act of loving feels like a risk to the heart?
The possibility of causing Audrey pain, of being the source of her hurt, is a weight thatpresses down on me, a burden of potential consequences I’m terrified to bear. I should just keep my distance until Monday and let everything go. But am I capable of standing on my own without her?
“Are you okay?” Audrey asks.
“Of course,” I whisper just as we reach her parents and she stands next to her mother. Gently, I lift her hand and kiss the back of it. “My lady.”
She smiles. “I’ll see you in a few.”
I wink at her. “I’ll be waiting for you.”
“Who the fuck let this clown date my sister?” Jacob protests elbowing Max. “I thought we had rules against friends dating her, Maximilian.”
“Stop you two,” Mrs. McCallister warns them before Max opens his mouth. “This is your sister’s fiancé and he’s about to become part of the family.”
