Page 1 of Knot Really Engaged
Chapter One
Audrey
“What was I thinking?”I pace the terminal of San Diego International Airport, my heart racing and palms sweating.
“You were not thinking, and now . . . Well, what if . . .” I stop, my eyes darting between the digital clock overhead, my phone, and thegate where my red-eye flight to Boston waits. My stomach churns, and I feel a wave of nausea wash over me.
This trip is monumental, not just a mere visit home. I haven’t been there in three years, but I’m also introducing Ben, the man I’m convinced is my soulmate, to my family. My heart swells at the thought of him, but the anxiety quickly takes over again.
Should I have picked a better date than my parents’ fortieth anniversary? Probably, but here we are in what can be described as the biggest, yet best, mistake I’ve made in a while. I let out a shaky breath, my shoulders slumping under the weight of my decision.
Why did I tell Mom I would introduce her to the love of my life? It was probably the news that Ethan, one of my brother’s four childhood friends, was engaged.
The four best friends and eternal bachelors are beginning to find love, and Mom is expecting that Jacob, Max, and I will do the same soon. She’s hoping that at least one of her children should get married—and give her grandchildren. I can practically hear her voice in my head. The hopeful tone, and the desperation.
The lady has a list of things to accomplish in life and obviously we’re not helping her achieve her goals.
Am I getting married to Ben?
I hope so, but I’m starting with the first big step: introducing my boyfriend to my parents. I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves, but it does little to ease the tension in my body.
The weight of this decision presses down on me. I’m excited and anxious. My hands are clammy, and I wipe them on my jeans, trying to rid myself of the evidence of my nerves.
Too anxious.
I bite my lower lip, my stomach fluttering with a swarm of butterflies that threaten to overwhelm me. I close my eyes, taking a moment to compose myself. Maybe I should be more concerned about Ben’s whereabouts.
“Where are you, Benjamin Starling?” I mumble under my breath.
Every so often, I compulsively check my phone, hoping for a text or call from Ben—anything to indicate he’s on his way. But nothing comes. The minutes tick by, and though we still have time, there’s the nagging feeling in my gut that something is just not right. I pace back and forth, my fingers drumming against my thigh nervously.
What do I do if he doesn’t make it in time?
But booking another ticket will be too expensive, and I promised Mom I would be there to help her with the preparations for the next couple of days.Not that she needs me. Knowing her she already has everything under control, ready to show off to her sisters and cousins.
They have this unhealthy competition that drives everyone insane. I, on the other hand, would accept the help from others. Dad has taught me that there’s pride, and then there’s just wasting your time on something that could’ve gotten done earlier if we had worked as a team.
And this will be a perfect time to follow Dad’s advice, now can someone help me find my boyfriend?
Where the fuck is he?
A frustrated sigh escapes my lips. I call him again, but the voicemail picks right away.
The texts aren’t shown as delivered. Did something happen to him?
He promised he’d be here on time. He actually paid for his ticket—he was sitting next to me while doing the transaction. If we had bought them together, I at least would’ve checked-in for him or I’d know that he did check-in. I mentally kick myself for not insisting on doing so.
Thinking about Ben always makes me feel good, like a comforting warmth inside my chest: a summer day or a cozy blanket on a chilly evening. Today, that’s not the case. I’m feeling like a shiptossed about in a stormy sea, my stomach churning with unease.
What if something happened to him during the drive to the airport? I wish I knew someone in his family so I could reach out to them. No, that would be a little too desperate. But I should at least know them. I mean, we’ve been together for almost a year.
This might be my longest relationship in my adulthood. And yet, there are many things about him that I don’t know. The realization settles heavily in my chest, and I find myself questioning the depth of our connection.
Do I love him?
I mean what is love, really? Probably what I feel for him, right?
Despite my doubts, I can’t help but smile when I think of Ben. He is the perfect combination, responsible and yet a free spirit. I know he’ll totally charm my parents. This weekend is going to be spectacular. Everyone at the party will love him. I can already see us, swaying to some cheesy love song from my parents’ playlist, completely wrapped up in each other.
