Page 55 of Knot Really Engaged
Because the reality is, as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t want it to be over.
I don’t want to lose Liam, to go back to the way things were before.
I don’t want to face the emptiness of my life without him in it.
The thought of never seeing his smile again, ofnever feeling the warmth of his touch . . . it’s almost too much to bear.
But I need space to think if that’s what I really want. I won’t say anything to anyone, not even Max.
So instead, I force a smile, my voice falsely bright as I say, “Of course, that’s what I want. It was just a stupid game, a way to get everyone off my back. It didn’t mean anything.” The words taste bitter on my tongue, a lie that feels like poison in my veins.
He hands me an envelope. “Here, I forgot to give you this.” His expression is unreadable, a mask that hides his true thoughts.
With trembling fingers, I open the envelope, unfolding the letter inside. My heart races as I take in the messy handwriting.
Aud,
That was messy and not in a good way. I wish this disaster hadn’t been the end of our time together in Boston. I hate that the bookstore is in trouble and my father needs me to help him with it. It’s a long story.
Honestly, I thought I would be able to convince you to stay with me for a couple of weeks, help me look into the business side to see where things are going wrong. Just so I could spend a little more time with you. But life never works the way we plan, does it? Not that I plan much—other than what happens to the company.
My point here is that I will give you space, but please let me know when you’re ready to hear me out. I really want us to talk about the stuff you took with you (I really think you’re a thief) and how we’ll handle things when I’m back in San Diego. I don’t want the heart you stole back, but we need to figure out what you’ll do with it now that you own it.
I want to see you again, babe. I want to get to know more about grown-up Audrey, though I think I know enough to be in love with you.
Yeah, I hate to say it in this letter, but I feel like this might be my only chance to plead for you to not push me away.
Give us a chance, please.
Love,
Liam
I close the letter, my breath coming in short, sharp gasps. He loves me?
I’m at a loss.
This is unexpected and probably what I wanted, but at the same time something that might not work.
Could it work?
I sigh, confused, hopeful, and . . . I wish I could go back to see Liam. But as much as I want to, even if we hadn’t been discovered, I have to go back to work.
Max looks at me, his eyes narrowing as if hecan see right through my bullshit. “So, is it over?” he asks, his tone gentle but probing.
“It never started,” I say, because I’m not talking to my brother about Liam. Not now, not when my emotions are so raw and exposed.
“If you say so,” he says, his tone skeptical. “But for the record, I think you’re making a mistake.” He leans back in his seat, his eyes never leaving mine.
“Oh, really?” I snap, my voice dripping with sarcasm. I cross my arms over my chest, my eyes narrowing as I glare at Max. “And what would you know about it, Mr. Relationship Expert?”
Max holds up his hands in surrender, a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. His eyes sparkle with amusement, and I can tell he’s enjoying this a little too much. “Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it,” he says, his tone playful but sincere. “You and Liam . . . you’ve got something special. Something real. And I’d hate to see you throw that away because you’re too stubborn to admit it.”
I bite my lip, my heart racing at the truth of his words. Because as much as I want to deny it, as much as I want to pretend that what Liam and I had was just a game, all an act . . . I know that it was more than that. I touch the envelope, my fingers tracing the edges as a wave of emotion crashes over me. He said so himself.
Can you fall in love in so little time?
Maybe. But I know that the time we were together was a glimpse of what could be, a taste of the happiness that I’ve been searching for my entire life. And now that I’ve had it, now that I know what it feels like to be loved, truly loved, by someone who sees me for who I am . . . I can go back to the way things were before, but I don’t want to.
