Page 54 of Knot Really Engaged
Audrey
I lean backin the plush leather seat, my eyes fixed on the fluffy white clouds outside the window. I can’t believe I’m on a private jet, flying back to San Diego after the disaster that happened earlier.
Not only do my parents know that I lied, but they realized I was dating a married man.
Mom will never forgive me, andmaybe this is the last time I’ll visit Boston. At least Jake and Max are supporting me. They’re so supportive that Max is escorting me to San Diego.
Jake stayed to calm my parents and assess the situation. I honestly don’t know what I would do without them.
“Not to sound ungrateful, but you didn’t have to come,” I say, my voice wavering slightly. I pick at a loose thread on my jeans, avoiding Max’s gaze. “I hate to take you away from all the things you have to do.”
Max scoffs, his eyebrows raised in disbelief. “The boss said we had to.” He leans back in his seat, his long legs stretched out in front of him.
“Liam is your boss?” I laugh, the sound forced and hollow. “What happened to ‘I’m my own boss’?” I make air quotes with my fingers, trying to inject some levity into the situation.
“We all own the company and have different roles.” He shrugs, his expression nonchalant. “Though, since he’s the CEO, we sometimes call him the boss.”
“I still can’t believe you insisted I use the private jet,” I say, shaking my head in disbelief. “I mean, I had a perfectly good plane ticket.”
Max chuckles. “Well, apparently, your prince charming insisted on the royal treatment for his beloved. He didn’t know that you wouldn’t becrying after what happened.” His tone is light, but I can hear the underlying concern in his words.
I snort, rolling my eyes at his teasing tone. “Liam’s not my prince charming,” I mutter, my heart clenching at the mention of his name. “And I’m certainly not his beloved.” The words taste bitter on my tongue.
Not sure why, but saying that he’s not my beloved feels more false than our engagement. I look at my hand, the ring is still there. I didn’t even give it back to him. That would be like admitting that this is over and I’m not sure if I’m ready to go back to reality just yet.
I don’t acknowledge the fact that he expects me to be crying. Am I sad? Yes, but not surprised that, as usual, Mom is disappointed in me. At least, this time I told her how I felt. If they can’t accept me, that’s totally fine. It’s something I’ve been working on with my therapist, and maybe I should’ve listened to her when we discussed Ben.
Be with someone you approve of, stop trying to make your parents happy. I swore it was both. He made me happy, and being with him would make them . . . accept me.
But that was a lie, and here I am, broken and confused. I feel a lump forming in my throat, the weight of my own expectations crushing me from within.
The confusion is about Liam because I really wanted him to come back with me to see if we could still hang out with each other. Getting to know him was surprising and something I don’t want to lose.
My heart aches at the thought of never seeing him again, of losing the connection we’ve forged over the past few days.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Max says, his voice softening with something that sounds suspiciously like concern. “The way he looks at you, Auds . . . that’s not just pretend.”
“He’s a great actor.”
Max laughs, and it’s one of those whole-hearted laughs he barely releases. The sound startles me, and I glance back at him. “Why do you think I’ve been teasing the fuck out of you two?”
“Because that’s how you are?”
“Sure, but also because I noticed how he was salivating for you. And the first time I noticed, I didn’t like it, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that he’s always cared for you.” Max’s expression softens, a hint of nostalgia in his eyes.
“What do you mean?”
“Liam always looked after you when we were young. I think in a weird way you two crazy kids were meant for each other.”
“So, you’re not going all big brother on him for looking at me?” I tease, trying to lighten the mood. But my voice wavers, betraying the hope that flutters in my chest.
“I will because it’s fun to make him squirm, but since you also have feelings for him, I won’t get in the way,” he says, his tone sincere and understanding.
“There are no feelings,” I say, but it feels like a lie. A big, ugly lie that hurts so much. “It was just a charade. Pure lies.” I look away, blinking back the tears that sting my eyes.
Max is quiet for a moment, his brow furrowed in thought. “Is that what you want?” he asks finally, his gaze searching mine. “For it to be over?”
I open my mouth to say yes, to tell him that of course that’s what I want, that I never wanted any of this in the first place. But the words get stuck in my throat, there’s a painful truth that I don’t even want to acknowledge.
