Page 51 of It Will Always Be You
“Hmm? Oh, nothing. Just looking at the photos Cora left,” I answer, gesturing to the wedding album Cora had dropped over on her way to the airport. Apparently, Logan wants to give Abigail the proposal she never had, and that includes getting her nearest and dearest to meet them on his private island. It’s incredibly romantic, yet more evidence he is Freya’s son through and through. Holding up a bottle of wine in question, he pours us each a glass before coming to join me. The heat of his thigh pressed against mine burns through my thin leggings.
Passing me a wine glass, he gently takes the album and lays it on the table between us. Twisting to face him better, I ignore the jolt that goes through me as his knuckles brush my bare shoulder. Quirking an eyebrow at him, I wait for him to say what’s on his mind.
“I’ve been thinking –”
“Careful you don’t strain yourself,” I quip.
“Smartass,” he says fondly before continuing, “Why don’t you join Donna and the others at one of their girls’ nights?”
“Trying to kick me out? See, I knew you wanted your space back.”
He scoffs. “Don’t get it twisted. I’m glad you’re here. You bring life to this place, which has been lacking for a long time. But it would be good for you to ease yourself back into the swing of things.”
“I’ve been weighing it up, trying to get the courage. Going from being confined in a nasty basement, chained nearly every hour of the day, it’s quite a shock to the system to be free again. To come and go as I please. I can’t help but doubt it will last, that someone won’t drag me back to that hellhole the second I drop my guard.”
“Helen…please. Who hurt you? Give me a name,” he begs, dropping his forehead to rest against mine. Agony bleeds from his every pore, lashing at me, making me bleed all over again as I stumble through baring my soul to the man I never stopped loving. Even when it hurt to do so.
“Angus. Kyle. Benedict. Rodger. Too many to count, in more ways than I could ever have imagined. Johnny…I’m ruined. They made sure of that,” I sob, squeezing my eyes shut. “It hurt so bad. Not a day went by without someone raping me, torturing me, not to mention my punishments. Please. I can’t.”
“Hush, you’re safe now. I swear, no one will ever touch a hair on your head again. They’ll have to go through me. I should have been there; I shouldn’t have let you go. Sweetheart, can you ever forgive me?” His strong arms pull me into his embrace, and the safety of being in his arms cause the last of my walls to crumble between us.
“It was never going to be that easy. Angus said as much when he…” I trail off, unable to put into words what was done that day. I’m shaking uncontrollably when he gently pulls back to cup my face between his palms, rubbing circles on my cheekbones as soothing words leave his lips.
“Johnny, he…. they… God, it was awful. It hurt so much; I wanted to die. Death would have been a kinder fate. There’s nothing they didn’t do, didn’t ruin. How can you possibly sit there and look at me as anything other than ruined?” I sob the words like acid as he holds me tight to his chest. It’s like opening a dam I can’t close as I purge the last of my horrors to him, laying myself bare at his feet and hoping he doesn’t crucify me for it. I pray he doesn’t look at me differently. Eventually, he encourages me to open my eyes and release the death grip I have on his wrists.
“There’s my pretty girl. Give me those baby blues. You never need to hide from me, understand? Their actions are their burden to bear, not yours. You survived. That’s the most important thing, and if it takes you twenty years to feel safe, then that’s what it takes. I’m not going anywhere. Nobody and nothing will ever change that,” he vows,imploring me to understand.
The intensity in his eyes should scare me, but instead, it strengthens me.
“I never stopped dreaming about you,” I confess on a shaky exhale, watching as my words land like a blow. He bows his head, kissing my forehead, letting his lips rest there for a moment.
“I never stopped loving you.” His words are so quiet, I don’t think I’m meant to hear them.
But I do, and they change everything.
Chapter 47
I’ve been angry before. I’ve felt rage. But as Helen’s confessions slice through me, the blackness inside me reaches a whole new level. Its uncharted territory—this violent, thundering urge to hunt and destroy anyone who dared touch what’s mine. It’s overtaking every logical thought and leaving me in a red filled haze. This is more than mere anger. It’s colder, sharper, a rage that sears everything in its path.
I knew her story wasn’t going to be pretty, that it would have my blood lust kicking up a notch, but fuck me. Hearing the utterly devastating tale from her lips lashes at me with more efficiency than a barbed whip. The only thing keeping me somewhat sane is feeling her heart berating against mine, her breath fanning across my neck, and the way her nails dig into my wrists. Clinging to her, I remind myself she’s safe now. No one will ever get their hands on her again. Over my dead fucking body.
“I’m going to run you a bath, and you’re going to let someone else take care of you for once, okay, sweetheart? It’s okay to need help, to break down when you need to. You are safe here, I swear it. On mylife,” I vow, wishing I could go back in time and undo all her hurt. I might not be able to, but I sure as fuck can seek vengeance and lay all her abusers at her feet in a bloody trail fit for a queen. For that’s what she is: a queen. My queen. And it’s about time everyone knew that.
“That sounds nice,” she whispers and it’s all the permission I need. Placing a kiss on her crown, I head upstairs. Bypassing her room and en-suite, I head for the master bath. I turn on the tub, testing the water before adding some bath salts and pulling out my phone while I wait for it to fill up.
“Yeah?” Brennen grunts as soon as the call connects. A man of few words, but words aren’t what I’m after tonight. Action is, and if anyone can get this ball rolling, it’s him, even if he is currently in the middle of a recon mission.
“I need you to run a few new names for me. This trumps the previous list.”
“Are heads going to roll?”
“Maybe. Check through that server and start with a Kyle. He would have made thepurchase,” I spit the word out, disgust curling in my gut, “around six years ago. No purchases that I know of since then. Then, cross check for mentions of visits from Angus, Peter, a Roger, and a Benedict. Keep digging until you get me all the names you can.”
“Got it. Want me to get Ciaran to start hunting them, or should we wait and dial you in?”
“He can start, but those fuckers are mine. Get them in the Pit or get me addresses, yeah?” At his grunt of agreement, I hang up and take a deep breath. Cracking my neck, I try to shove my rage beneath the surface. It won’t serve me to unleash it now. Knowing we have things in motion to find these sick fuckers makes it a tad easier to force a sense of calm I don’t feel onto my face as I head back down to get Helen. She’s exactly where I left her, a haunted look on her face that I’d sell my soul to erase. Making my steps heavier so as not to startle her, I make my way over.
No words are needed as I guide her up to the bathroom with ahand between her shoulder blades. With a frown, I note she’s still too skinny, too fragile, for my liking. I shouldn’t be able to feel her bones through her clothes. Making a mental note to ask Fiona for some recipes, I lead her through my room to the master bath.
