Page 32 of Learn My Lesson
He shrugs. “I won’t pretend I’m an expert in what a scene entails, but we have a connection. You can’t fake that.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I can, in fact, fake that. I close my eyes and strive for control. Cutting him down might feel good for a moment, but it’s like kicking a puppy. Unnecessarily cruel. He made a mistake in bargaining his life way. That’s punishment enough without me verbally stabbing him every time he brushes against one of my many emotional wounds. “Just because we have a connection doesn’t mean I want you underfoot.”
“I won’t be a burden.”
I open my eyes. “Before you were a waiter, what was your job?” If Hades is determined to have him here, I suppose I should treat this as professionally as possible. As if I wasn’t coming on his tongue a few short hours ago.
He looks away, a faint blush coloring his cheeks. “I, ah, didn’t work. After I graduated college two years ago, I took a year off and then I was supposed to start in my father’s business, but life got in the way.”
Life got in the way. Likely the same life that resulted in him ending up in Carver City. I want to judge his life of privilege, to cut him down out of spite because I’m hurting, but he’s trying. I can try too. “Okay.”
Hercules looks back at me, all youthful promise and hope. “I’m a fast learner.”
I raise my eyebrows. “I suppose we’ll see, won’t we?” There’s no point in fighting this. I might as well put him to work. I brace myself. “Okay, first things first. Work is work and fucking is fucking. When you’re on the clock, especially during office work, I need you focused on paperwork instead of pussy.”
He grins. “You mean you don’t want me to climb under your desk and eat you out for hours?”
My body flashes hot, and I give myself a full three seconds to enjoy the fantasy. Despite my best intentions, I find myself returning his grin. “Maybe later we can play that out.”
“All work and no play.” His blue eyes shine with mirth. “You know what they say about that.”
“That is why it’s called work, Hercules.” Though now that we’re talking about it, it’s sounding like one hell of an idea. I shouldn’t start breaking rules the second I lay them out. I really shouldn’t.
Before I can walk back on my declaration of keeping work and sex separate, he says, “Hades told me I’m not allowed to fuck you, so I suppose I’ll have to follow at least some of the rules.”
I blink. “What?”
“I spoke with him this morning. He was pretty damn clear about the rules.” He shrugs. “Though he left the definition of ‘fucking’ up for interpretation.”
I may have had the same order from Hades, but the idea of them negotiating what Hercules can and can’t do with me has fury fanning deep inside my chest. All my amusement, all my desire, turns to ash inside me in the wake of it. I want to hurt them both, to do something to make them reevaluate how easily they trade me as a favor between them. It doesn’t matter what Hades has said about us seducing Hercules together; in light of his actions, it couldn’t be clearer that he means to seduce the man himself, using me as a tool when it suits him.
I’ve played the part of tool before. I have no interest in repeating the experience. Hades must know that. Surely he hasn’t forgotten so much in his quest for his endgame. Surely…
But I can’t be certain. Not anymore.
I sit back. “Why you, Hercules? That’s what I don’t get. He’s had people who have caught his eye over the years, but nothing like this. I just don’t understand.”
He opens his mouth but seems to reconsider his next words. “Why don’t you ask him?”
“As if it were that simple.” I give him a mirthless smile. “He won’t tell me.”
“Are you sure?”
Just like that, I realize the truth. Hercules knows exactly why Hades picked him out of the crowd. Hercules knows and I do not. I absently rub my chest, grinding away at the ache there. No reason to feel this hurt. It isn’t as if being shut out by Hades is a new development. I should be used to it by now. I just assumed he wasn’t willing to open up to anyone, so it didn’t sting so badly that he wouldn’t open up to me.?2
“Meg?” From the worried tone in his voice, Hercules has said my name more than once.
“I’m fine.” I turn back to my computer, but I can’t quite focus on the screen. It keeps blurring across my vision. I blink a few times, but it doesn’t help.
“Meg.” His voice sounds closer. He rounds the desk and, after the briefest of hesitations, takes my hand and pulls me to my feet. And then I’m in his arms and he’s holding me tightly. “Don’t cry, Meg. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”
“I’m not crying.” Even as I say the words, wetness trails down my cheeks. “I’m fine.”
“Meg.” He tightens his grip, practically crushing me to his chest. “Fuck, I’m sorry.”
I should push away, should tell him I can stand on my own, but I don’t. I just rest my cheek on his chest and let him hold me. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”
“Yeah, it doesn’t feel that way. I’ve been fucking up ever since I got here.” He laughs harshly. “I’ve been fucking up a lot longer than that, if I’m honest.”
