Page 61 of Shattered Dreams
Regina’s Diary
December 31st, 2015
Dear Diary,
It’s been a whole year since I wrote to you, and so much has happened this year. So many good things, that I didn’t have time to sit down and put my thoughts to paper. But New Year’s Eve is a great time to catch up, right?
I finally managed to not cry when I lit a candle for Decker and Krew’s birthdays and prayed that they doing well without me. I bought a small chocolate cupcake to celebrate, but it didn’t taste as good as my mom’s.
I finally got my GED, around the same time I would have graduated at school in Elida. Then through a friend from the shelter I volunteer at, I was able to get a hardship scholarship to go to beauty school. There were stipulations though. I had to move up to Chicago, volunteer four days a week at their affiliated shelter there, and get a part-time job. I was also told they already had a place for me to live—for free. For FREE, Diary. I couldn’t say no to that, and I had always wanted to visit Chicago.
Even though I thought it sounded too good to be true, I decided since I already survived so much crap, I could handle anything for a chance at a better life. So, I took the offer. And it was the best damn decision I ever made.
Sorry Diary, I had to put you down for a bit, but… Surprise! I’m already here in the Windy City, and now I know why they call it ‘the windy city’. Though, I didn’t realize that I would also freeze my butt off, but that’s okay. I got a warm winter coat and boots at a thrift store near the shelter.
I start beauty school in a month. In the meantime, I’m working in a salon, shampooing, cleaning, and sweeping up a lot of hair. Tips are great, so I can’t complain. And since I don’t have to worry about rent, all my money goes for food and anything else I need. I don’t eat much, Diary, so I save. My bank account is growing.
It’s been a couple of years, but I still miss Krew and Decker very much. I hope they are doing well without me. I miss my parents too. I called them last week on my nineteenth birthday, and my mother answered the phone. I was too chicken to talk to her, so I hung up. I guess I still wasn’t ready and need more time to heal.
Well, it’s nearing midnight and I have an early shift at the shelter tomorrow. I’ll write soon.
Regi
Chapter Nineteen
Regi
Three more days went by—we’d been here practically a week, and I was still pissed at Decker for berating me like I didn’t know my own mind. Although I regretted shouting at Krew.
As an apology of sorts to Krew, I made sure to clean up every speck of puke in the bedroom and sprayed air freshener I’d found in the bathroom. However, I’d made no other efforts to atone for my outburst toward him. I simply avoided both him and Decker.
Decker. I fisted my hands, wanting to—Gaa! I’ve never been an aggressive person, but he brought out the part of me that wanted to beat the hell out of his face. Just thinking about him now raised my hackles. I wanted to kick something of his—like maybe his balls, for treating me like I was a child.
And yet, my mind kept returning to his warning about spanking me.
Why did I think that was hella hot? At one point when I was cleaning up the puke, the idea of defying him had yearning and curiosity swirling in my stomach. Fortunately, I managed to cut off that notion immediately. Well, almost immediately.
Instead of the nightmares waking me the past two nights, it was wet dreams. In one, Decker had bent me over his lap and cracked my ass until I came. In another, Decker and Krew spit roasted me until I’d screamed out both their names. They’d made me come until I couldn’t orgasm anymore. Then Decker and Krew took me both at the same time and claimed me as theirs.
Hmm. I shivered at the images those dreams left in my mind. The idea that my body could accept them both at the same time—like my heart did, raised another layer of yearning I had to squash.
I pondered on what I should do and decided there was only one way to handle these unwanted feelings. Stay away from both of them.
Yeah, right.
So I stayed in the bedroom, just like I had the first two days in this place—only venturing out for food and bathroom breaks when I was sure they weren’t around.
Gah! I was going stir crazy.
I was my own jailer, and didn’t know what was worse, being cooped up in this house—in this bedroom like a prisoner, or being on the run from killers. None of it had merit. But I certainly couldn’t hide in here any longer.
At least neither man bothered me. While I kept to the bedroom, the guys did whatever they were doing downstairs. I didn’t know, and frankly I didn’t care…
Alright, that was a lie. I was bored and lonely sitting in the room, without conversation—without any interaction with them. I was talking to myself like a frickin’ loon. I felt touched starved and my brain hungered for connection.
There was no television, and Decker had taken my phone away, so no one can track us, his words.
I hated the fact that I’d put myself in this corner. I was the one who’d made it damn clear that I didn’t want to be bothered. And they granted me my wish.
