Page 37 of Evergreen Desires
Who would want to hurt Jake? Even if it was an attempt to just scare him or to scare me. I didn’t want to lose Jake like I did Mom, but I couldn’t put him in harm's way. I couldn’t live with myself if he was really hurt, especially if it was because of me. I knew I was sticking to my guns trying to do the right thing and not taking the easy way out. I knew the cliché. The right thing was usually the most difficult. Would Jake be better off without me? He would be safer. Could I live without him? Could Rich really be behind this? What if I just gave up the cannabis farm? Would Will be okay with that? Jake knew about my beast. Would that cause more issues if he was pissed at me? He could tell everyone. He could ruin me. I wanted to find the person who did thisto Jake and tear them apart. I was not a murderer, but Jake deserved to be protected, right?
“Jake needs to be safe,” I mumbled to myself. Hearing it out loud made a difference. I knew I couldn’t bear to lose Jake, but I also couldn’t bear the notion of putting him in harm's way because of my work.
I resigned to take care of Jake and get him home and healed. He could stay with me for as long as he wanted. Forever even. But I needed to end this relationship. For his safety, I'd do whatever it took.
CHAPTER 31
JAKE
Ugh.
Rolling over and reaching, there was no one next to me. Again. It looked like Beau didn't even come to bed with me. I found myself staring at the window, sunlight peeking around the edges. The car crash injured me, but it had clearly taken a toll on Beau as well. Even now that I was back home, he didn’t seem the same.
I pulled myself out of bed and headed to the kitchen. I took the last of my prescribed pain pills yesterday, so today I’d hopefully be less foggy and more functional. I’d started spacing the doses and weaning myself off them, and today I would rely on Tylenol. My shoulder was still in a sling, and I had some purple bruising that was starting to fade on my forehead and across my chest. I was just glad I didn't break anything critical like my pelvis or my spine. The thought of that made me break into a cold sweat.
My coffee mug was in its usual spot where Beau placed it each morning before he headed out. There, next to my coffee mug, was a bottle of Tylenol. It brought a smile to my face, then I felt a tightness in my throat. Tears beganto well up in my eyes as I thought about how Beau had taken care of me and seen me in my worst of times.
My last relationship had ended when I ran from it, literally, but he’d never took care of me. Even when I was sick with the flu, he never would have taken me to the doctor. I would be the one to sleep on the couch so that he wouldn't miss work. Not that he was particularly mean about it; he always made it sound like the logical, practical thing to do. “Since you’re staying home tomorrow for a sick day, let me take the bed so that I don’t miss work or jeopardize my job.” The only time that was different was when he thought I was really contagious… then I would be isolated in the bedroom with the door closed.
I never realized how manipulative the relationship was. Hindsight, I guess. Especially when you added in how I’d felt like I had to drop my college courses, how he’d degraded my photography passion, and even his use of my inheritance from my grandparents.
The coffee began to kick in, and my mind cleared the majority of the fog that had been lingering, not all, but semi-functioning. I started the computer to check out the website and see if there were any more tweaks I could make. While still a way off at the moment, I would like to get the website fully updated before the holidays. Beau and I had discussed possibly doing a bit of a direct to customer Christmas tree farm this year. Something that would cater to the kids and families in the area. Beau, despite his introverted tendencies, was open to having children around and perhaps starting a little bit of a U-Cut Tree tradition in addition to providingfor the outsourced tree lots around the area. Will was in charge of keeping the cannabis business as hidden as possible for this operation, perhaps with the addition of some holiday-themed screens around this side of the greenhouse.
Chirp.
I jumped at the chirp of the new alarm system. Beau had it installed the day after the accident here at the house as well as at the office. He’d wanted to make sure that we were protected. As my heart rate began to calm back down, I heard Beau rustling in the kitchen. Glancing at the clock on the laptop, I saw that it was lunchtime. A good time for a break and a chance to see Beau.
***
“Hey there.”
“Hi, how are you feeling? Did you see the Tylenol I left out just in case? I didn’t want…”
I interrupted him with a kiss on the cheek. However, he pulled back as soon as the kiss landed.
“You okay?” I felt every insecurity racing into my mind. I could barely get my words to form properly.
“Yes, all good. I just wanted to make sure your wounds were healing up. I also was just grabbing a quick sandwich before I head back out. I need to make sure the final cameras get installed and then head around the grove. Some of the trees will need shaping. It’s been a busy week.”
“Are you sure that’s all?”
“Yes, I promise. I just have a ton on my mind. Plus, once you start feeling better, we’ll go get you another car.”
“I’m not sure I am up for driving anytime soon,” I admitted
“I get that. This happened toyou. When it was my mother, I didn’t drive for almost six months. You take as long as you need. I’m not going to force you to drive until you want to.”
“Thank you.” I was about to lean in to give him a squeeze, but I stopped myself, just in case he pulled back again. I was not sure I would be able to hold it in if he pulled back again.
Beau pulled back to look at me, his stare intense, almost unnerving. “Jake, I care for you deeply; you know that. I promised you I would not force you into anything and that I would do anything to keep you safe. You need to know that.”
“I do.” Deep down, I did. He had proven that. But it was eating at me.
“I need to get back to work so that I am not working all night. Do you need anything?”
“No, I am good at the moment.”
“Okay, call me if you need anything, and you know Will is right in the greenhouse as well. He’s harvesting a row today for pick-up tomorrow.”
