Page 23 of Evergreen Desires
"No, thank you, sir. Truly!" the valet replied, his relief palpable.
The drive home was quiet, the weight of the key incident still heavy on my mind. I knew I should haveinvolved the police, but I didn’t want Jake to be caught up in the crossfire. There was no doubt that Rich was behind this, unhappy that I refused to give in to his demands. He'd moved past subtle hints and passive threats, straight into the "or else" phase.
I stole a glance at my handsome passenger, his half-lidded eyes still filled with a contented smile. Damn, he was beautiful, and I felt a pang of guilt for letting him get so drunk. But seeing him enjoying himself, carefree and happy, was worth it.
"I wish you didn't drive a stick shift," Jake suddenly said, jolting me back to the present moment.
"Why is that, my knight?"
"Because then I could hold your hand while you were driving," he replied with a playful glint in his eyes.
I burst out laughing. "Funny thing is, I got this Jeep back in high school specifically so I'd have an excuse not to hold hands with any girls who tried to be with me."
"Really? You dated girls?"
"Not really. I was on the football team and soccer team, but I was always the lone wolf type of guy, just like I am today—an introvert. Girls threw themselves at me, but I never had any interest. Will was my only real friend then, and he still is. I was always questioning about being gay myself, and in our senior year, we both figured it out," I admitted, sharing a glimpse of my personal history.
"Yeah, Will told me a little about that," Jake responded, looking at me with a slight side-eye.
"Well, we're friends. We experimented once, and we both ended up laughing so hard that nothing really happened," I admitted, hoping to put any concerns Jake might have to rest.
We continued our journey home, my mind still reeling from the events of the night. But having Jake by my side, even in his drunken state, brought a sense of calm and reassurance to me. Whatever challenges lay ahead, I knew we’d face them together.
CHAPTER 21
JAKE
Pulling into the driveway brought a sense of relief. The car's motion had made my stomach churn, a reminder of the drinks I'd had. To distract myself, I focused on Beau, admiring his features and the affection in his eyes. But there was something more in my chest, a deep stirring of emotions, though I was unsure if it's due to him or the alcohol. I'd had experiences in the past where beer goggles clouded my judgment, leading to disastrous relationships. I didn’t want to make the same mistake again.
Beau had been open with me, answering all my questions without hesitation. Sometimes his responses were carefully chosen, while other times he was blunt and straightforward. But one particular question lingered in my mind—the one about whether he was into me. He’d responded immediately, calmly, and without any doubt, saying yes. He’d been open about his attraction to me from the beginning. He’d even encouraged me to snoop to get to know him better. Yet doubt creeped in. Was he hiding something behind his words or my own lack of understanding?
As the car came to a stop, Beau parked at the front door, not bothering with the garage. He rushed to my side, opening the car door to help me out. When his hand touched the small of my back, a spark ignites inside me. Fuck it. I turned toward him and leaned in for a passionate kiss.
But the kiss didn’t stay sweet. It quickly became heated, fueled by the fire of desire that'd been building within me. I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer, wanting to consume him. Yet something felt off. He was kissing me back, holding me, but he wasn’t fully letting me in. His lips remained sealed shut, denying me the deeper connection I craved.
Wait... why wasn’t he opening up? Beau claimed to be into me, but was he justsayingit? Horror filled me as I considered the possibility. I released my grip on him and took a step back, or at least I tried to. I ended up bumping into the Jeep instead.
I looked at him directly in the eyes, hurt seeping into my voice. "Why?" I asked, my voice tinged with anguish. Why didn’t he want me? He’d said he did, but now with me willing in front of him, it felt like he was withdrawing. He’d told me all about how he’d wanted me, but did he really mean it? Or did he just love the chase, the act of courting me?
"Jake, my knight, you've had a lot to drink tonight. I want to make sure you really want... I need you to want me, all of me, the real me," Beau replied.
I scoffed. "Is this your version of the 'it's not you, it's me' cliché? I thought you were being honest with me, thatyou were trustworthy. That you liked me." Tears welled up in my eyes, but I refused to blink, refusing to let them fall. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
"I do like you, a lot. I just want you to know me, without anything clouding your judgment," Beau explained slowly, looking me in the eyes as he spoke.
"Well, you've sobered me right the fuck up now!" I snapped.
Beau took a step closer, attempting to put his hand on my back again. "Come on, let's go inside and talk."
I jerked myself away, my emotions swirling inside me. "No,yougo inside.Ineed some fresh air and to walk around a little."
Beau looked at me with surprise and a hint of fear. "It's not safe for you to walk around, especially in the groves. It's easy to get turned around, especially in the middle of the night like this. And the nocturnal wildlife— "
"I'll be fine!" I snapped, taking a deep breath. As I saw the genuine concern in Beau's eyes, my tone and stance softened a bit. "I won't go into the groves. I'll just walk around the back and stay near the tree line and the clearing."
Beau still hesitated, his gaze filled with worry. "I don't want you to get hurt or lost. Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I'm happy to walk with you."
"I'm already hurt and lost," I admitted, my voice steadying. "I'm trying to fix these feelings, and I need time to clear my head. I'll stay around the clearing in the back." I strived for a calm yet forceful response, hoping Beau would understand that I needed time alone.
