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She nods, “We can talk about it after your surgery, you might feel differently then.”

I nod my head in agreement, “Yeah maybe. I don’twant to let you down by not going pro. I know I’m good and everyone will say it’s wasted talent, but I’m not like Reiss. I don’t want it like he does.”

I take a deep breath and continue, “What I’m saying is, if you don’t want to risk your career tomorrow to make sure mine isn’t buried, you don’t have to.”

“I’ll ride tomorrow. I just want you to have the time to think about what you really want. You can get your surgery and think it over without all the pressure of Nationals on your back. If you decide you don’t want to go pro, then at least it will be your choice. You deserve someone that will stand in your corner.”

I nod, knowing there's still a chance that I have the surgery and can’t ride again, anyway.

Maybe she’s right. Maybe I would regret not going pro, even though I highly doubt it. Either way, there’s no way I’m convincing her not to ride in my place tomorrow. She’s already got her mind set on helping me. And there’s only one person that’s more stubborn than I am.

Lincoln.

45

Lincoln

I don’t care if Colson hangs his helmet up and never races again. I don’t love him because he is great at motocross, I love him because of who he is. Every fiber of his being is made for me. It doesn’t matter if he goes pro, Colson is my endgame. I know it and soon everyone else will too.

I just want the decision to stop racing to be his. I don’t want this stupid injury to be the reason he has to wait another year, and I really don’t want it to be the reason he never rides again, which I know isn’t something I can control.

I’m glad he feels comfortable enough to open up to me about it. That is a step in the right direction for us. It is nice having him tell me exactly how he feels instead of me trying to pry it out of him or worse, having him ghost me because he is afraid to tell me.

Colson is used to hurting alone, so the fact that he istalking to me when he is upset makes me feel like we have been moving in the right direction over the last couple of months.

The first day here is just a practice day and it’s a good test run for whether or not Colson and I can pull this off. Honestly, it goes off without a hitch. No one notices and I ride great. The bike feels fast and I could even go as far as to say it’s faster than the bike I rode at East Bend. It’s still amazing to me that Colson put it together himself.

After practice, we take some floats down to the creek and have some time with the family. Something we’ve done every year we’ve been here and it almost seems like Reiss is back to his normal self. Mira is here with Landon but she isn’t here at the creek this second. It’s almost like maybe Stas and Reiss have talked about what happened because they’ve been almost back to normal all day.

Reiss aggravating Stassie. Stassie telling everyone Reiss is stupid. He even flips her into the water once and scares her with a fake snake. So whatever happened, they seem to have patched things up some. I think it helps that Reiss plans to tell Landon that he’s not really Mira’s baby daddy after this is all said and done.

I don’t think he thought that situation all the way through and the consequences of messing with Landon almost cost him Stassie, and it did sort of have a hand in us losing Colson’s bike. It seemed like a good way to get back at Landon for all the times he fucked with Reiss, but Reiss didn’t think about how it would affect himself.

In this situation, I don’t think he has the upper hand.

The first moto the next morning is at nine, which is better than seven but still early for me. The earlier the better because if it’s a later moto, chances are the track will be rough and beaten down.

There is no qualifying at Amateur Nationals. The first moto gate pick is determined by a draw and luckily I got a good gate pick. Basically, you draw a chip out of a bucket and whatever number you get, that’s your gate pick. I get pick number eight which is really good out of forty two. You want to pick a spot right in the middle because if you get stuck on the outside, then you risk getting pushed out before the first turn or getting caught up in a big crash.

Reiss and Landon also get good gate picks, so it will be a fight to the finish for sure. Except Reiss and Landon will not be my only competition in this race. These racers are all the best of the best.

It’s an hour until my race when I get a text from Colson.

Colson

Meet me at the viewing deck beside the podium in 10.

I make quick work of braiding my hair into a tight braid and grab one of the golf carts to head over to whereColson wants to meet. There are people everywhere so an impromptu meeting isn’t going to throw any red flags.

When I get there, he’s dressed like he’s ready to race. In the exact outfit I’m about to go put on. I don’t get nervous for races but he looks nervous andthatmakes me kind of anxious.

“You ready?” he whispers as I walk up to him and stand toe to toe. “Remember everything we’ve done. You can do this, just watch out for Landon because if he gets the chance he’s gonna take you out. Especially after that pass you made at East Bend.”

I shake my head, “I’m not worried about Landon. Did you see Reiss this morning? I’ve never seen him so focused.”

“Reiss feels like he’s got something to prove,” Colson says. “He’s gonna make a statement today for sure. He’s sick of being compared to Brandon Bane.”

I roll my eyes, “He might as well get over it. Even if he makes it pro, he will still be compared to our dad.”