Page 60 of Send It
“What are you smiling at?” Reiss asks when he sees me looking down at my phone, tossing an XBOX controller in my direction. “You and Bri hanging out again?”
“Nah,” I say. “That’s been over for a while. Whatever that was.”
He clicks around on the game until he starts a match and we are both in the same lobby, “Well whoever you’re texting is about to get fucked. I can tell by the way you are staring at the screen.”
The words make guilt swirl around in my gut and I can’t go along with him.
“No, it’s different.”
My confession causes Reiss to jerk his eyes from the screen, “Like different as in relationship?”
I shake my head, “Just different.”
“Landon was right,” his grin spreads. “You are going soft.”
I dismiss his comment, “I’m just realizing what I want. That’s all.”
“The championship?”
I think about his question, trying to decide how to respond. Do I even care about the championship anymore? Have I ever really cared?
“I’m not sure.”
Reiss side-eyes me with suspicion. “What the fuck you mean, it’s all you’ve ever talked about?”
“Because it’s what everyone has always expected me to do. I was pushed into racing before I could walk. My dad expects it, Ryan expects it. Everyone at Bane Racing expects it. The more I think about it, the more I realize I don’t really care about any of it.”
He shakes his head, “You don’t mean that. No one has ever worked as hard as you. Is it because of your leg, are you scared to race?”
I flip him off and give him a look that says “go to hell.”
The risk of injury and the fear of never living a normal life does linger in the back of mind pretty constantly, but I won’t tell him that.
“I’m just saying, bro. Ever since we went to that practice race and Lincoln made you see Dr. Marlow, you’ve been acting off.”
“He just told me to rest it,” I lie, knowing damn well we have scheduled my surgery for the week after Nationals. “Sometimes it just feels like too much pressure. My dad doesn’t come around and then shows up here on a whim and basically begs me not to embarrass him.”
“I know how hard it is to live in our dads’ shadows. Iget compared to mine at every corner. In every interview I’ve ever done, in every podcast. So trust me I get it.”
“I don’t want to disappoint him.”
Reiss slams the controller down when his character in the game gets killed, “You won’t.”
“What if I do?” I say. “What if this is as good as it gets for me and I don’t end up being this super talented supercross prodigy like everyone thinks?”
Reiss offers me a look that saysyeah right.
“I’m serious,” I continue. “What if this is the end of the road, and I never go pro and have to rethink my entire career plan?”
“Then you will be fine,” Reiss says. “You got us. Bane Racing isn’t just about winning, it’s about family. We take care of each other.”
I nod, really thinking about what he said. Would there still be a place for me at Bane Racing if I’m not on the back of a dirtbike?
“Stop being such a negative Nancy and help me win this next match,” he says, picking up the controller. “This is the last one, we have training in the morning. And you promised me a gym session.”
I release my breath. I can handle a gym session. I don’t know how I’m going to fake my actual riding for the next few weeks, though. That should be interesting to say the least.
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