Page 96 of Heart of Gold
She takes my hand and squeezes it, “It will all work out, babe. You thought you were doing the right thing at the time. Gavin will understand that eventually.”
I shake my head, “He doesn’t see it that way and I understand why. Looking back on everything, I see it. Every single thing my therapist would preach to me all summer, suddenly on that roof I saw it. So fucking clearly.”
“Just give him some time, he’ll come around.”
I wipe tears as they begin to fall. “He told me if I still loved Grayson to go be with him.”
Ava’s brows knit, “Do you?”
“No! I don’t love him anymore. I don’t think I ever did.”
“Because you love Gavin?” The corners of Ava’s mouth tilt into a smile.
I shrug, “Everything feels different with Gavin. Grayson made me feel like I needed him, so it felt safe, but with Gavin, I feel peace.”
“I can see that. Gavin is a special guy.”
I know that.
“Gav makes me feel like I can be great on my own. He wants me to be great on my own, just as much as he wants us to be great together.”
“Because he loves you, stupid.” Ava laughs, “That boy would fight the world for you.”
“I know and I gotta find a way to show him that I wannagivehim the world.”
We spend the day at the bridal shop trying on more dresses than I would like and Liv doesn’t ask how I am but she’s my sister so she can sense that something is off. Especially since I’m on crutches and have bags under my eyes.
“When we get back to the house, you are going to tell me what’s going on.” She quips, flinging a few dresses back at the sales associate. “And if I need to send Jake to the school, I will.”
She glances down at my bandaged foot, and I sigh. “Okay, let’s pick your dress. We can talk about me later.”
She gives a curt nod, and continues putting on dress after dress until she finally lands on the perfect one. Her friends all dote on her and say how perfect she looks and how Jake won’t be able to keep it in his pants. When they’ve all stopped talking, I speak. “You look like mom.”
The simple phrase brings tears to her eyes, and she pulls me into a tight hug. “Thanks, Quinny.”
I smile at her, and go back into the room to change out of my dress and into my clothes, and if it wasn’t for Ava I’d be screwed. My foot really hurts.
“You need to go home and prop that thing up,” Ava says. “It’s really swollen.”
I wince, “Yeah, it really hurts.”
Ava leads me out of the dressing room and explains that I need to get home to Liv, who walks me out and helps me into the car, “I’ll be home after while. You know where everything is if you need anything. Jake is at a poker night across town.”
“Okay,” I whisper. “We’ll be fine. We’re just gonna watch the game.”
Liv’s eyes darken, “The game, huh?”
“Yeah,” I whisper. “I want to watch Gavin play.”
“Is he the reason you are on crutches?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest like a protective big sister.
“No,” I defend. “Of course not.”
“Grayson?” She pushes, wanting an explanation. “If he did something to you, you need to tell me.”
“No,” I sigh. “I did this to myself.”
She shakes her head and grabs the door to close it, “Okay, well we’re still gonna talk when I get home.”
