Page 62 of Heart of Gold
She blocks the door, preventing my exit. “Should I be worried?”
“No.” I quip. “I just need to be alone for a bit. I’ll be back by ten.”
She stares me down, so I add, “I promise.”
“Okay,” She whispers.
I drive across town to Oak Grove Memory Gardens, and put the car in park. It’s been a year and half but I still can’t bring myself to get out of the car. I can’t do it. To know it’s real is one thing. To see it there in stone? That’s something totally different.
So I never get out.
I sit here, knowing that mom is a hundred feet away. I feel close to her here, but this is as close as I can get. So I stare out the windshield at the grave marker.
My phone buzzes over and over in the cupholder, but I ignore it. I ignore it for so long that when Grayson’s ridiculously expensive car pulls into the spot next to me, I’m not even that surprised.
His knuckle taps my window, and I roll it down.
“You have to stop doing this, Quinn. You can’t just sit here in your car like this. What happened to your mom, it wasn’t your fault.”
I feel the tears start to well, “How can you say that! She was coming for me, I fucked up, Grayson. I was sixteen years old. I shouldn’t have been drinking and she should’ve never had to leave the house to come get me. You shouldn’t have called her!”
“We’re not doing this again!” He yells, “I did what I thought was best, Quinn. I was trying to protect you.”
“No!” I yell, “It was just another way for you to control me! You didn’t call her because you wanted to protect me, you called her to show me that you held all the power.”
“I’m sick of this same fight!” He growls, “It wasn’t your fault and it wasn’t mine.”
He sticks his hand through the window and pushes my blonde hair behind my ear. “Listen to me. I love you, I’m trying to be there for you but you keep pushing me away.”
He’s right. We’ve been on and off again for the better part of a year, and the past few months have been nothing more than missed dates and hanging out long enough to satisfy his sexual desires.
He growls in frustration and walks to the passenger side, yanking the door open. “Listen, Quinn. I’m sorry I missed dinner. My dad is on me about staying in shape for when I get to Ridge U this summer. It’s a lot of pressure.”
I shake my head, looking down at the steering wheel. “I know, Gray. I’m sorry.”
His phone pings over and over and he pulls it out to check it. I notice the name on the screen, and I can’t help but feel a ping of Jealousy.
Raelynn.
He swipes the screen and then sets it down on the console. He takes his hand and intertwines his fingers with mine, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb. “I promise, I will start making more time for us. When we get to Ridge U, things will be different. It’ll be good for you to get out of this town for a while.”
I nod, not really knowing what to say, and he glances at the time on the dash.
“Shit, shit, shit! My dad will kill me if I miss curfew again. I gotta go.”
He reaches across the console and pecks a kiss to my lips. “Go home, Quinn. We’ll talk some more tomorrow.”
I nod. He hurries out of my car and I watch as he drives off.
A faint buzzing sound fills the car and I see the glow of light from the console. I reach down and pick up Grayson’s phone.
Raelynn’s name fills the screen, and I swipe down to open it. It doesn’t recognize my face so the password pad comes up instead.
Staring at it for a few seconds, I start to feel like I’m invading his privacy for wanting to open it.
I rack my brain for what might be so important that Raelynn is blowing up his messages, but come up empty handed. I didn’t realize they were this close. To text everyday?
I try a few different options and figure out his password pretty easily.
