Page 55 of Heart of Gold
“You wanna watch a movie?”
He fidgets nervously, knowing that I’m still thinking about that comment.
“Sure,” I agree.
He grabs the remote off the tv stand and takes the spot next to me on the bed. His legs are so much longer than mine, and I can’t help but admire his muscular frame. The way his calves are so defined and the way his shorts flirt with the skin just above his knees makes me ache to touch him.
But I don’t.
He lets me pick the movie and I try to argue about it, but he keeps insisting, so I pick the obvious choice.
The Sandlot.
We both laugh when Squints pretends to drown and by the time the movie is over we are cuddled into each other.
“That is such a good movie,” he laughs. “Brilliant choice.”
I tilt my head up to look at him, “Yeah, I can see you acting just like Squints when you were younger.”
He beams. “And Levi, he was like Benny.”
I suddenly feel a little sad because that comment takes me back to what he said on the cruise. How Levi was the one his dad was taking to football camps.
“Stop looking at me like that,” He sighs. “I was okay with being the nerd. I didn’t want to play football like it was my job.”
“And you do now?”
His eyes lock with mine, a sense of longing behind them that I can’t quite put my finger on.
“I just want to focus on other shit.”
“Like what?” I ask, genuinely wanting to know.
He blows out a deep breath, “I don’t know. School. Life. How am I supposed to figure out what I want to do if I’m constantly playing ball?”
“You could quit,” I say. “Would it really be the worst thing to quit?”
He shakes his head adamantly, “I can’t quit. It’s paying for school.”
I may have forgotten that minor detail.
“Then you just make time for other things. What do you want to do?”
He sits up excitedly.
“I want to volunteer at the animal shelter, or open up an animal shelter, or start a nonprofit that helps animals.”
I feel my ovaries explode with the thought of Gavin and a puppy.
“So do it,” I shrug. “Set aside time to go visit the animals.”
He rolls his eyes, “Yeah right, it’s nearly impossible to do that during the season.”
“You have to make time for yourself. If you don’t you are gonna keep on resenting football. You’ll hate it even more.”
He just stares at me, and I can tell the wheels are turning inside his head. Thinking hard about what I said.
“I’m serious, Phoenix. If you start to take your life back, football won’t be as bad.”
