Page 14 of Heart of Gold
Her eyes go wide, and I know how crazy that sounds. That’s why I don’t tell many people what Levi said, because it doesn’t make sense to them.
“Do you think he was dreaming?” She asks.
I shrug and she touches my bicep, “It’s okay.”
“I felt it, too. I know that makes me sound like a lunatic, but I feel like it was some kind of twin phenomenon.”
She shakes her head, “No. It doesn’t.”
“I hated finishing the season while he watched me from the stands. I felt like everyone was watching me, waiting for me to suddenly be better than I was. To be Levi.”
She closes her eyes, drawing in a deep breath before speaking, “Your parents?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, “My parents. My teammates. Everyone.”
Grabbing my hand, she traces the bones beneath my knuckles, “That must’ve been so hard for you.”
“I’m sure it was harder for Levi.”
“Don’t do that,” she snaps, “Your feelings are valid, Phoenix. It’s not a competition.”
I shake my head, “I’ve never really talked about this before. Like, ever.”
“That was kind of the point though, right?”
“Yeah,” I smirk, “I guess it was.”
I’ve always been this way. I’m careful, mindful of my words. I don’t say anything without reason, and if I’m saying something then I mean it. That’s why I don’t really talk about my feelings. It’s hard to find someone that I feel is worthy of my words.
Which is why, now, I can’t shut up.
She is more than worthy.
chapter six
Quinn
I feel bad for him. I can’t fathom how awful that must’ve been. Olivia and I aren’t that close, but I couldn’t imagine anything happening to her, especially right in front of me.
“Hey,” he whispers, “You alright? You’re zoning out on me.”
“Yeah,” I take a deep, shuddering breath. “I just couldn’t imagine any of that happening to me. I don’t know what I would’ve done.”
“It was the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through, but I’m better for it.”
Something about the way he says those words makes me feel so guilty for thinking he was some fuckboy on the deck yesterday. Phoenix, even though that isn’t his real name, isn’t anything like the guys I’ve known. He seems kind, thoughtful even.
“Was Levi upset when he couldn’t play football anymore?” I ask.
“Devastated. Football was always his thing. It definitely wasn’t me that dad was signing up for summer long training and college prospect camps.”
I suddenly feel like I want to punch his dad in the face, and I have no idea why. I have no right to feel defensive.
“Why not?”
“I didn’t want those things,” he admits. “I never wanted to play ball in college. If it wasn’t for Levi getting sick, I probably wouldn’t have. Football was never in my long term plan.”
“Do you feel obligated to play, since Levi can’t?”
