Page 92 of Second Chance with the Single Dad Goalie
I hold her gaze. “It does to me.”
Her breath catches, and for a second - just a second - something flickers in her eyes. Something uncertain. Unsteady.
I take another step, my voice is quieter now. “What exactly are you so afraid of? That someone might see what’s really there?”
She stands abruptly, shaking her head. “Blake, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” I challenge myself. “Don’t acknowledge that things between us have changed? That no matter how hard we try to pretend nothing’s happening, it is?”
Her lips parted slightly like she wanted to argue, but she didn’t.
I exhale, dragging a hand over my jaw. “I get it, okay? You don’t want complications. You don’t want to deal with whatever this is. But I can’t keep pretending anymore.” I hold her gaze, steady and sure. “I never stopped loving you, Whitney.”
Her entire body goes still.
For a moment, I think she’s stopped breathing. Then…
She laughs. A small, disbelieving sound. “You don’t get to say that.”
“Why not?”
Whitney shakes her head, but I keep going.
“Since you got back…, since I saw you again, it’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, Whitney.” I shake my head, exhaling sharply. “At first, I tried to play the indifferent card, but it didn’twork. I keep telling myself that you’re just here for the kids, that it’s just temporary, that at some point, you’ll pack up and leave again. And I should be okay with that. But I’m not.”
I drag a hand through my hair, laughing bitterly. “You, being their nanny…, it should make things easier. It should make it possible for me to keep my distance, to just see you as the woman helping take care of my kids. But it’s doing the exact opposite. Having you in my house, seeing you every day - it’s driving me insane, Whit.”
My chest tightens, but I push forward. “Because every time I see you, every time you laugh…, I want you.” My throat feels tight. “I want everything I shouldn’t. You’re right in front of me, and yet you feel so far away.”
She doesn’t move. Doesn’t even blink. But I see it - the way her fingers twitch slightly at her sides.
I swallow. “And I know it’s my fault. I know I’m the reason we ended or you left. I live with that every day, Whit. But that never changed the fact that I didn’t stop loving you.”
She shakes her head slightly, but I keep going.
“When James said we looked like a family today - it did something to me. Because for the first time in four years, it didn’t feel like a joke. It didn’t feel ridiculous. It felt right.” I exhale, rubbing my chest as if that’ll ease the ache inside me. “It was like - like all I could hear was a resounding yes. From above. From within. From everything.”
Silence.
Then…
She laughs. A hollow, tired sound. “That doesn’t matter.” Her voice is quieter now, but no less sharp. She lifts her gaze to mine. “You made your choice, Blake.”
My stomach twists.
She exhales, shaking her head. “Don’t think because we kissed a few nights ago that it changes anything.Nothinghas changedbetween us.” Her voice wobbles just slightly, but she tightens her jaw and straightens her shoulders. “To me, you’re still the guy I had to love in secret. The guy I trusted. The guy, I…!” She stops, swallows hard, and then continues, her voice thick. “And just when it came down to it, you chose someone else.”
“So, what exactly are you talking about?” She says, holding my gaze.
I wish I had the right words, the ones that could make everything make sense, but I don’t.
I drag a hand over my face, exhaling hard as I sit on the bed facing her. “You want to know why I made that choice?”
Whitney doesn’t say anything. She just watches me, eyes dark, unreadable. Waiting.
I take a shaky breath. For close to twenty minutes, I tell what happened back then.
That’s what happened, Whit,” I say, my voice hoarse. “I swear. At the time, I thought I had no choice. I just…," I shake my head, my throat tight. "I wanted to be different. Different from my dad, from the man who walked away without a second thought. I wanted to prove I wasn’t like him and that I wouldn’t abandon my responsibilities."
