Page 34 of Kiss & Collide
“Right.”
Ian shrugged. “Long gone. That was nothing.”
Nothing. She gritted her teeth to keep her reaction from showing on her face. He broke her heart over some girl he now dismissed as “nothing.” Was that supposed to make it better or worse?
Ian sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and fixing her with a pleading stare. “Look, do you want to hear me say I fucked up, Violet? Because I fucked up. I know that now.”
“Oh, for god’s sake. Please don’t tell me you’ve been pining for me. We both know better.” She would bet there had been a lengthy line of girls filling his bed in her absence.
“But you were the best part of me. The truest part of me.”
Violet picked at the red polish flaking off one nail. “Did Astrid write that for you?”
“Come on, Sunshine. You can’t tell me we weren’t good together.”
She sat in silence, staring at the ice slowly melting in her drink. Good together? Meeting Ian had felt like unlocking a door to a whole new world, a world where she finally fit in, where she mattered. She’d willingly built her life around him—his music and his magic—because when she was with him, it felt like she was a part of the magic, too.
But he’d thrown it away for “nothing.” That’s when she’d discovered her place in that world was conditional.
Always on his terms.
So she’d quit being devastated. She’d also quit giving men enough room to devastate her. She built her life aroundherselfnow, and if she made magic, it was hers to keep.
She watched the ice cubes swirl in her glass to avoid meeting Ian’s eyes. “I can’t believe you don’t remember this about me, Ian.”
“What?”
She tossed back the rest of her drink and stood up. “I don’t believe in looking back.”
Ian shot to his feet and reached for her, but she jerked back, out of his reach. It had been a long time, but she wasn’t about to let him touch her. She didn’t want to test herself that way, not after everything she’d gone through.
“I’m not giving up, Violet. I know what matters now, and it’s you.”
She laughed without humor. “Ian, knock yourself out. I’m going to bed. And tomorrow I’m going to Hungary. Have a nice night.”
As she made her way out of the bar, he called out behind her. “You’ll see me again, Violet.”
With a sinking sensation, she knew she probably would. This—the grand gesture, the abject groveling—appealed toIan’s sense of drama. Fucking fine. Let him follow her around prostrating himself at her feet. It might do him good.
Because he still didn’t understand the damage he’d done.
It wasn’t about some idiot groupie who sucked his dick and made him feel like a hero. It was more than that.
Shemadehim. Ian and Astrid and their stupid band would still be playing crap gigs in the shittiest bars in Essex if not for her. She’d put them on the path to greatness. And if they hadn’t quite made it there yet? Well, she wasn’t around anymore, was she?
Turned out there was exactly one magical ingredient in Revenant Saints, and it wasn’t their golden god lead singer. It washer.
15Budapest, Hungary
“So what’d he say?” Violet asked before taking a bite of overcooked pasta. She’d spent the morning with her phone glued to her ear, hustling to get more press coverage for Chase. But in between calls, she’d finally had a second to grab lunch in the commissary.
Leon, sitting across from her and picking at a salad, sighed. “Nothing. Because I didn’t say anything.”
“Leon.”
“I know, I know.” He held his hands up in defense. “I’m a coward.”
Leon had been secretly hooking up with the team physiotherapist for Optima Racing for most of the season, except he’d gone and caught feelings and wanted to make it official. He hadn’t yet managed to say that out loud to anyone other than Violet, though.
