Page 93 of Kiss & Collide
Mira winced. “Okay, I admit that wasn’t great—”
“I don’t know what I was thinking. She’s never made any secret of who she is and how she operates. I don’t know why I thought she might be different with me.”
“See, that’s the thing,” Mira said, leaning closer. “Thisisn’thow she is. I’ve seen Violet with men and she’s ruthless.”
He chuckled grimly. “Yeah, I know. I can still feel the shiv between my ribs.”
“No, Chase.” She reached across the table to grip his wrist. “I think youaredifferent. Just the fact that you’re still here is different. How long has it been? Since you guys started?”
“Since I started at Pinnacle, sort of.”
“Violet is the queen of one-and-done. Nobody sticks around for months.Nobody.”
“But—”
“Look, she’s spent a long time keeping everybody at arm’s length. It’s probably hard for her to let someone in. Scary, too.”
“Violet isn’t afraid of anything.”
Mira shot him a look. “I know you don’t believe that.”
“Maybe not. But what does it matter? I put myself on the line and she fucking sent me packing. What am I supposed to do here?”
“Just don’t give up on her,” Mira said, her eyes all full of earnest pleading. “Not yet.”
With a sigh, he slid out of the booth and stood up. “Mira, look, I like you. And I’m glad Violet’s got you in her life. But I’m not the one who gave up. I tried. And she’s pushed me away over and over. I’m not waiting around to let her kick me in the teeth again.”
That Violet-shaped hole in his life felt like it was growing by the minute. He prayed it wasn’t permanent. Because it felt like the kind of loss he’d feel forever.
“Chase—”
He held up his hands to cut her off. “Sorry, Mira. I’m out.”
Then he turned around and left. Left Mira, and left the whole fucking party. Because he really couldn’t handle another minute of talking about some mythical version of Violet, a version that cared about him, and wanted him as much as he’d wanted her. Because it was pretty obvious that version of Violet was all in his head.
39
As a rule, Violet did her best to cut through life like a knife. Cut through the bullshit and do what you have to do to get what you need. It worked for pleasure as well as business, and in both worlds, she didn’t bother with guilt. It just wasted time, and left you worse off. As she saw it, at work her ruthlessness was just ambition, and no man would ever be faulted for it. And as for her personal life—men and sex—well, it was exactly the same. She never felt guilt about it because she was up-front about it.
But she’d stayed in the hospitality center for the whole of race day, to avoid crossing paths with Chase. It wasn’t guilt, she told herself. It was just … cleaner this way. She stayed busy, too. Chatting up sponsors and arranging press events for the upcoming race in Miami. As long as she kept moving, she was fine.
If she had one moment to sit with this, she felt like she was crawling out of her skin.
Which was why, when Rabia found her in hospitality, she was staring into space, picking at a pastry she suddenly had no appetite for.
“Hey, mind if I join you?”
Violet waved her into a chair.Please, distract me.
“We had one of the reserve drivers trying out the new design in the simulator back at the factory last week.” She passed her iPad across the table. “Check out these times.”
Violet scanned the chart and her eyebrows shot up. “Can you replicate this in the car?”
Rabia shrugged. “You never know. Gremlins can always sneak in and fuck you up. But right now there’s no reason to believe we can’t.” She shook her head, smiling. “When we get our hands on that Sokia power unit, and with Chase behind the wheel, next season could get very interesting.”
Violet’s stomach knotted up with misery.
When Carter’s sale went through, the flow of money would stop. They could very likely be forced to race this year’s car next season, with no upgrades at all. They’d tread water for a season or two, until they finally went under for good.
