Page 91 of Kiss & Collide
She was going to fuck this up eventually. There was no way she wouldn’t. So why should he give up a single thing for her sake? And certainly not for the team’s sake. Pinnacle probably wouldn’t even exist in a few years, and he would have spent the peak of his career tethered to this sinking ship.
“Please don’t make me a part of this,” she whispered. She couldn’t handle that kind of pressure, couldn’t handle being responsible when his career was in tatters in two years’ time.
He scoffed, bringing his hands up to cradle either side of her neck. His thumbs rubbed along the length of her jaw. “Come on, Violet, you’re already a part of this. I care about you.” He paused, pressing his eyes closed briefly and swallowing hard. She could feel the words coming even before he opened his mouth. “I love you,” he murmured.
No, oh please, no. Not like this, not now. She wasn’t ready for this. She couldn’t say it back. She didn’t even know how to. That part of her had died years ago, and would probably stay that way forever. She’d known that. It was why she didn’t commit, why she never let anything get serious. It’s why she shouldn’t have tried this with him. Because eventually it was going to end up here, and she knew going in that she wouldn’t be able to see it through.
Panic flooded her limbs, and adrenaline had her heart trying to beat its way out of her ribs. Her throat closed up around the breath she tried to draw.
Shoving at his chest, she pushed herself away from him. “Just stop.”
He jerked back in shock, and she had to turn away from that stunned look on his face, that pain in his eyes.
She rounded on him, trying to make him see. He needed to understand what a mistake he would be making … withPinnacle. With her. “Listen to me. You need to take that fucking contract with Allegri. Get out of here and don’t look back.”
He blinked, those glittering dark eyes full of pain as he stared at her. A muscle in his jaw worked as he ground his teeth together.
“And you and me?” he finally asked, voice hoarse.
Shecouldn’tbe a part of this. If he stayed here for her, he’d lose everything. She’d already made that mistake.
“I can’t do this … I thought I could, but I can’t.”
“But I thought things had changed.”
Yes, everything had changed. Her chest felt so tight that she could barely breathe. The panic felt so intense that she couldn’t even look him in the eye.
“I said no strings for a reason. Strings get tangled. You’re thinking about turning down Allegri for Pinnacle. That’s insane.”
“I’m thinking about turning them down forus!” he shouted.
“And I am cutting the fucking strings! Stop trying to make me what I’m not.” This is who she was. Hard, cold, unattached. Only capable of a one-night stand. No matter how much she may have wanted to believe otherwise.
He scoffed and shook his head. “Guess it was too good to be true after all, you committing to something. Someone.”
That hurt. Badly. But she didn’t let him see it, because he was exactly right.
“Believe me,” she said. “You’re going to look back and be glad.”
He took another step back and his expression shifted, and she realized that in all this time she’d spent with him, she’d never seen him truly angry at someone. It just wasn’t in his nature. Except that’s how he was looking at her now, so hard and cold.
She’d never felt this small and ugly before.
“Fine,” he spat, before he turned and headed for the door. “You don’t want to matter to me, Violet? Then fine, you don’t matter anymore. You’re free, just like you wanted.”
Then he jerked the door open and he was gone.
She stood in the same spot, unmoving, staring at the door he’d just disappeared through, for a long time. When her arms and legs could move again, she slowly sank to the floor, drawing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around her legs.
It seemed that at some point in the past weeks with Chase, her bloodyhearthad started beating again. And now she remembered why she’d worked so hard to avoid that. Because it hurt like hell.
38
The last fucking thing Chase felt like doing was going to some sponsor party, shaking hands and making a lot of bullshit small talk. But Rally Fuel was considering shoveling a shit ton of sponsorship money into his lap and no matter how he felt right now, business was business. The party was at an upscale restaurant, and no expense had been spared. The food was sublime, and the drinks were flowing, but he wasn’t interested in any of it.
He hadn’t seen or heard from Violet since that fight the day before. If she’d been at the track for the race this afternoon, she’d steered clear of the garage. It fucking figured. The first time he’d attempted to date someone since Sophie and he had to pick Violet Harper. That was like choosing a wild animal as a pet. When you did something like that, you had no business complaining you got bitten.
But he hadn’t chosen her. She’d justhappenedto him. She’d blown into his life and before he knew it, she’d filled up every corner of it, impossible to resist. All he could see, all he wanted, was her.
