Page 94 of Love Around the Corner
He reached out to touch her arm and she stumbled in her haste to get away from him. “Don’t.”
The last thing she could bear right now was his pity, his well-meaning and devastating sympathy. Not when none of it meant anything. Not when none of it was enough to make him stay.
Nick drew back his hand, looking like she’d struck him.
Finally, he drew a deep breath and spoke. “I gotta go. I’m on the last flight out tonight.”
She grit her teeth, keeping her eyes on her toes.
“I’ll call you when I get back.”
“No.” The word sprang from her lips before she’d even thought it. Nick looked as surprised as she was.
“No?”
“No, don’t call me.” She had to stop and swallow down the lump in her throat before she could continue. “Your place is almost ready, and the coding is almost done. There’s nothing you need to call me for.”
She didn’t mention their relationship, or whatever it was they’d been doing all this time, but she didn’t need to. It pulsed between them like a dark, living thing, impossible to ignore. Nick watched her, waiting.
“You’re sure?” he asked at last.
That breathless pressure was back in her chest, making her feel light-headed. This was going to happen sooner or later, and Livie didn’t want to wait around for later. She didn’t want to wait as she fell a little more in love with him every day, holding her breath and bracing for the moment when he said goodbye for good. This was an act of self-preservation, she knew it, but still, every word felt like coughing up glass.
She nodded, still not looking at him. “I’m sure.”
The moment of silence felt endless, brittle and raw. She didn’t breathe, didn’t move. Her body felt frozen. In a minute, this would hurt worse than she could possibly imagine, but not yet. If she didn’t breathe, maybe she wouldn’t move forward into the future without Nick.
“Okay, if that’s what you want,” he finally said, every word landing like a tiny bomb in her heart.
No, she wanted to scream.It’s not what I want. I want you, but all of you, the way you’d never intended to give yourself to me.
But the words only echoed in her head, never to be spoken out loud. Wordlessly, Nick retrieved his backpack from inside the front door and hefted it onto his shoulder.
“I’ll...” He stopped, tipped his head forward, exhaled, and continued. “I’ll see you around, Livie.”
Then he descended the concrete steps, walked down the path through the front yard, and was gone.
Livie stayed where she was, her breaths coming in short, shallow rasps. How was she supposed to move from this spot? How was she supposed to move forward into the next minute, the next hour, tomorrow, the day after, when it felt like some vital part of her had just been cut out of her?
She lost track of how much time had passed since he left. Suddenly someone was there, coming up the steps to the house. She lifted her head. Teresa.
“Hi there, Livie. Getting cold out here, isn’t it?”
She opened her mouth to reply, but couldn’t. Instead, she gasped, a desperate, panicky sound. Now that she’d moved, she was shaking. Her whole body was trembling so hard her teeth clattered together.
Teresa peered into her face, concern etched into her features. “Honey? Is something wrong?”
Frantically, she shook her head, but hot tears broke free, streaking down her face and making a liar of her.
“Was it Nick?” Teresa asked, with a note of resignation in her voice. “Did something happen?”
This shouldn’t be Teresa, Livie thought wildly. She shouldn’t fall apart in front of this total stranger. It should be Jess, or Gemma, or even her father. But they were all inside, with a house full of guests. Teresa was here, and now she’d taken Livie by the shoulders and somehow moved her until she was sitting on the edge of the stoop. Teresa sat down next to her, one arm around her shoulders.
“He’s gone,” she choked out, her breath shuddering as she inhaled.
“I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but you really will survive it,” Teresa said kindly.
How could that possibly be true? How did anybody get through this devastation and come out fine on the other side?
