Page 49 of Love Around the Corner
“I’m sorry, Livie.”
Her heart thumped painfully. She tried to swallow, to say something—anything—but her throat refused to cooperate.
But now he’d started talking and he couldn’t seem to stop. “Today was a nightmare, and my head is a mess, and I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking.”
She thanked God—who she didn’t even believe in—for that blown-out lightbulb, because now he couldn’t see the humiliation heating her cheeks, or the tears welling in her eyes. “It’s okay,” she muttered, her voice choked and rusty.
“You’re a good friend and I had no right to take advantage—”
Friend.
Stupid girl. They hadn’t beenstartinganything. This was Nick—chaotic, disastrous Nick—being impulsive and thoughtless once again. She knew better. Hadn’t hejusttold her he hurt people without meaning to? Sheknewhe could hurt her if she let him, and she’d invited him right in to do it with that kiss.
“It’s okay,” she said again, with considerably more strength.
“It’s... I’ve been drinking, and—”
“You don’t have to apologize.” She swallowed hard around the lump in her throat, trying to sound confident and unconcerned, and every single thing she was absolutely not feeling right now. “It happens, right?”
Did it? How would she know? It had never,everhappened to her, but Nick probably kissed his friends all the time and it meant nothing at all.
Nick hesitated. She couldn’t read his expression in the dark. “Right.”
“I’d better get to bed.”
“Sure. Livie, again, I’m so sorry.”
If he apologized for making the colossal mistake of kissing her one more time, she was going to burst into big, ugly sobs, right here in front of him. They were fighting to get out as it was. “You don’t need to feel sorry,” she said, as firmly as she could manage. “I understand completely.”
She absolutely did not. She’d never been more confused in her life, but that was the last thing she’d ever say to Nick. She had to save face, and that meant pulling herself together and pretending this never happened. If she let it be awkward, it would ruin everything between them, so she’d fake a smile and pretend it meant as little to her as it meant to him.
“You sure?” he said quietly.
“Absolutely.” She’d never told a bigger lie in her life.
“Livie, you know you’re the best, right? I don’t know what I’d have done without you the last few weeks.”
He didn’t have a clue how dangerous he was to her. Fine, let him stay oblivious. They were friends before, they were friends now. “Good night, Nick.”
“Night, Livie.”
Finally, her hand found the doorknob, turned it, and she let herself into her room. If only she’d managed that ten minutes ago, this whole horrible, humiliating scene never would have happened.
The door clicked shut behind her. She stood still in the darkness, and her fingers drifted up to touch her mouth. Humiliating, yes. God, she’d never get over the humiliation. But the rest...that kiss had been a revelation. Despite the awful way it had ended, she couldn’t bring herself to regret it.
Chapter Nineteen
Nick was already awake when the first gray hints of dawn made it into his room. He’d been lying there, staring at the ceiling for hours, terrified he’d ruined everything.
He’d kissed Livie. He’dkissedher.
Over the years, he’d kissed plenty of girls. Sometimes because he was into her. Sometimes because he was into her for the night. Sometimes he wasn’t into her at all, but everybody was drunk and why not? Kissing was harmless, all in good fun, and no big deal, as long as everybody was on the same page.
Last night was a very big deal. Livie wasn’t some random girl to share a casual lip-lock with. First, she was his friend, and as she’d so accurately pointed out the night he first came here, he didn’t have too many of those.
Second—yesterday. No one was ever going to accuse him of being deeply introspective. Examining his own motivations and emotions wasn’t something he regularly did. But even he was aware that yesterday he’d been processing a lot of shit, and grabbing his nearest female friend and sticking his tongue down her throat was perhaps not a wise move. He was a roiling ball of pain and anger, and he’d been drinking. Taking it out on Livie was unfair as hell.
Third, considering what she’d told him last night, he was pretty sure Livie had never been backed up against a door and kissed like that. When it finally happened, it shouldn’t have been with some fucked-up hot mess who’d just found out his fiancée had been cheating on him with a guy namedKlaus. She was great, and she deserved someone great who would treat her great. Even if he was in his right mind right now—which he most certainly was not—he was not that guy.
