Page 91 of Love and the Laws of Motion
“Hey, Mom, pass the gravy?”Chris said, once again defusing what was rapidly turning into an awkward situation.
“Make sure you leave room,” Mom said, passing the gravy boat down the table.“There’s pie for dessert!”
After dinner, Kate went upstairs with Anthony to put him down for a nap.His father and brother gratefully popped open a couple of beers and turned the channel to the football game.Nick accepted a beer from his brother and did his best to relax.They were trying.He would try, too.Maybe he’d never truly fit in here the way they wanted him to, but that didn’t have to mean the complete exile he’d lived in for eight years.Still, he felt defensive, braced for judgment, ready for the whole fragile house of cards to collapse the second he breathed wrong.
When his phone buzzed in his pocket, he lunged for it, desperate for a distraction.It was a text from his friend Luke in Palo Alto.They’d worked on a couple of start-ups together back in the day, and crossed paths on dozens of other freelance gigs since then.The text was short and abrupt, like all communications from Luke, who didn’t understand the concept of casual conversation.He was abrupt as fuck, but a decent guy.Good coder.
Hey.Call me.Urgent.
He hadn’t been back to Palo Alto in a year.Hadn’t spoken to Luke outside of a few random emails and texts in months.What the hell could be urgent now?He was about to ignore it and pocket his phone again when another text came through.
I’m serious.Need to talk to you.
With a frisson of unease, he excused himself from his father and Chris and slipped his coat on, stepping outside on the porch to make the call.Had some mutual friend of theirs died?Was Apple going bankrupt?Nothing else he could think of would account for Luke’s urgency.
He dialed and Luke picked up on the first ring.
“Hey, what’re you doing?”
“Uh, hey, Luke, nice to talk to you, too.”
“Cut the shit.When are you coming back to the South Bay?”
He laughed.“I moved back to Brooklyn a year ago.Remember?”
Luke let out an impatient huff.“Right.Forgot.What are you doing right now?”
“Um, Luke, it’s Thanksgiving.”
“I know, but you never really cared about holidays and shit.”
He was right.Back in California, he’d worked through all of them.It wasn’t like he had a family waiting on him.
“Well, I’m at my parents’ today.”
“Look, I got hired onto this start-up.These guys tried to cheap out the tech department and now they’re paying for it.Soft launch is supposed to be in a week, and the whole system is a goddamned mess.If the site doesn’t go live next week, they lose their VC.Shit is about to get very real.They brought me on to fix it, but it’s a two-man job.I need you.Today.”
Nick exhaled in surprise, his breath making a cloud in the cold air.“I can’t fly back today.”
“Why not?”
“Because...”Why not?In the past, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it before heading to the airport.But that was before, back when he hadn’t been beholden to anybody, when nobody cared where he went or why.Now he had his family back inside, so abjectly grateful he’d come to dinner he could barely stand it.Their happiness itched at his skin, leaving him twisting in a mess of guilt, resentment, and shame.
And once he escaped his own family, he’d be going home to face the Romano extended clan—all those aunts, uncles, and cousins, assembled for the holiday and curious as hell about who he was.They’d ask questions, just like his own family.They’d want answers about him and Livie, answers he didn’t have.
He imagined that flight back to Sacramento and just like that, his chest unclenched and he drew in what felt like his first full breath in hours.And on the other side of the flight—nothing.Nothing but days of coding, a tough but finite problem to solve, with a predictable, reliable outcome.His brain went very quiet.
“Come on, man.There’s nobody else who can clean up this disaster.You can name your price to these guys.”
“It’s not about the money,” he said by rote.It was never about the money.It was about the project, what opportunities the project presented to him.
“Please tell me you’ll do it.”
Nick heard his own voice from far away.“Yeah, I’ll do it.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Thanksgiving felt endless this year.
